The Modern Moms Roadmap to Balance Podcast

Episode 72: How Diet Culture and Postpartum Body Image Affects Intimacy and Connection With Special Guest Alyssa Booth, LPC

• Kayla Nettleton • Episode 72

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Postpartum body image is one of the biggest silent struggles moms face—but you don’t have to carry it alone. In this week’s Love After Kids episode, I’m joined by therapist and women’s empowerment coach Alyssa Booth for a powerful conversation about healing your body image, especially after kids.

We talk about:
• How postpartum body image affects your confidence and connection with your partner.                                                                                                                                      • Why trying to “bounce back” often leads to more shame, not more self-love.
• How diet culture and perfectionism fuel mom guilt and burnout.
• What real self-acceptance looks like (and how it changes everything).

If you’ve ever looked in the mirror and didn’t feel like yourself—or felt unworthy of intimacy because of how your body has changed—this is your episode. 💛

Helpful Links: 

Website: https://heyalyssabooth.com/

Social Media Handles:

IG: alyssabooth_lpc

Free FB Group: Empowered Body 

Thank you so much for joining me this week on today's episode. Be sure to follow me on IG @therapy.with.kayla

I love hearing about your insights and aha! moments from the show. 

About the Podcast Host
Kayla Nettleton is a TX-based licensed therapist, business owner, and mom of 3.

In her private practice, Kayla helps women break free from cycles of anxiety, perfectionism, and people-pleasing. Her holistic approach guides clients toward authentic, fulfilling lives by reconnecting with their intuition, setting boundaries, and building confidence.

Kayla also works with couples, especially parents balancing marriage and family. She offers both traditional couples therapy and focused intensives (6 to 18 hours) to help partners address key issues like communication, trust, and intimacy.

Through empathy and effective therapeutic tools, Kayla helps couples reconnect, thrive, and create healthier, more supportive relationships. Her practice transforms self-doubt and disconnection into growth, healing, and lasting change.


Find Kayla on

IG: @therapy.with.kayla

TikTok: therapy.with.kayla

YouTube: The Modern Mom's Roadmap to Balance Podcast

Email: kayla@kaylanettleton.com

Free Consultation: Schedule a Free 20 minute therapy consultation here.

Hey friends, and welcome back to the Modern Moms Roadmaps to Balance podcast. I'm your host Kayla Nettleton, and today's episode is such a good one, especially if you've ever found yourself stuck in the pressure of having to do everything perfectly. Maybe you've been carrying guilt around food, your body, or just feeling like you're constantly falling short as a mom or a partner. And I just wanna say this upfront, so much of what we've learned about food, body, image, and even self-care has been shaped by outside voices and unrealistic expectations, but real self-care, the kind that actually makes you feel grounded, present, and connected to yourself, that comes from within. And that's exactly why I'm so excited for today's conversation. In this week's episode, I'm sitting down with Alyssa Booth. A licensed therapist and women's empowerment coach who has a passion for helping women find freedom with food and self-acceptance. Alyssa has dedicated her career to guiding women and moms away from the pressure of perfectionism, people pleasing and guilt around food and body image. Her approach is bold, compassionate, and completely judgment free. so you have a safe place to show up exactly as you are. With her background in trauma-informed therapy, Alyssa is all about moving beyond service level fixes and helping you embrace real lasting change. She is a fierce advocate for finding a deeper kinder connection with yourself. And in this episode, she's sharing so many insights that'll help you step into a new level of self-care, the kind that actually honors what you need and helps you be fully present in your life, not stuck in guilt or overthinking. And when she's not coaching or presenting, you'll find Alyssa soaking up family time, loving on her animals, or baking some sourdough bread, which honestly sounds like a dream right now. This conversation is so relatable, so encouraging, and I cannot wait for you to hear it. So let's get into it.

kayla_1_03-03-2025_091104:

Hey, Alyssa! Thank you for joining us today and giving us your time.

alyssa-booth--she-her-_1_03-03-2025_091104:

Yeah, thank you so much for having me. I'm excited to be here.

kayla_1_03-03-2025_091104:

Yeah, I mean, over here it's pretty dreary, so this is definitely a good start to the morning when it's like so cloudy and the sun's not out today.

alyssa-booth--she-her-_1_03-03-2025_091104:

Yeah, for sure. I know. with all the cold that's been happening. I was like, really into the sunshine. And so now that it's cloudy, I'm sad again. Yeah.

kayla_1_03-03-2025_091104:

nice, and, I don't know if you've seen, like, there's just been a real trend, I guess, and it's like, I wasn't sad, I just needed, sunshine and an iced coffee, or just things like that. It's like, oh, I wasn't sad, I just needed to go hang out outside and barbecue.

alyssa-booth--she-her-_1_03-03-2025_091104:

Yeah. Put my feet in the grass.

kayla_1_03-03-2025_091104:

Oh, yeah. So let's get started with this first question that I've been asking the guests for this special series, Love After Kids. And this question you chose is in your experience, how can couples find balance between being great parents and great partners?

alyssa-booth--she-her-_1_03-03-2025_091104:

Yeah, no, I think that's such a great question. I can kind of talk about that for my personal experience and then kind of also my professional experience as well. I have 2 kids. My oldest is 13. And my youngest is going to be three in a few months. And so, I know, yeah, yes,

kayla_1_03-03-2025_091104:

That's big.

alyssa-booth--she-her-_1_03-03-2025_091104:

Yeah, so I'm like, I have a teenager and a three ager, and it's a lot of fun over here in our house.

kayla_1_03-03-2025_091104:

That's three in Asia. I have one of those too.

alyssa-booth--she-her-_1_03-03-2025_091104:

Oh yeah, he's very, no is his favorite word, and he's kind of in the typical phase, and you know, I think it's hard because I have this older kid who's, I mean not like independent, but a lot more independent, you know, and so we're just kind of wrangling in our toddler all the time, and hard, right, to Yeah. Yeah. To manage kids in any stage, and not only try to find yourself as an individual, but reconnect as a couple,

kayla_1_03-03-2025_091104:

Yeah.

alyssa-booth--she-her-_1_03-03-2025_091104:

and make sure that you're taking care of your kids, but you're also taking care of yourself in the midst of all of the things. And so I think first and foremost, communication is key. I know that that's probably like an overused phrase, but it's overused because it's true, right? It's

kayla_1_03-03-2025_091104:

Yeah.

alyssa-booth--she-her-_1_03-03-2025_091104:

And we have to be able to communicate our, needs with our partners even with our kids, like being able to set boundaries and say, Hey, mom and dad or mom and mom or me partner, whoever, right? We are

kayla_1_03-03-2025_091104:

Yeah.

alyssa-booth--she-her-_1_03-03-2025_091104:

Know, have some time for ourselves because this is important too. So I think really just setting the tone early on. I think the other thing would be to set realistic expectations. yourself as well. Because my toddler is sometimes going to sleep super easy, easy breezy, no big deal. But then a few nights it's been, you know, kind of difficult. It's taken like an hour or so to get him to go to sleep. And usually my husband and I will, watch TV or hang out or whatever, once he goes to sleep. And so hard sometimes to navigate that

kayla_1_03-03-2025_091104:

Yeah.

alyssa-booth--she-her-_1_03-03-2025_091104:

it's like, Hey, okay, we're going to hang out tonight. And it's like, just kidding. You know, he's taking an hour to go to sleep and then he's exhausted and I'm exhausted, we're exhausted. but then just being able to set the intention to have some time together. Okay. So what's going on this weekend that we can intentionally plan you know, time to spend together, time to spend as a family, time to spend as individuals, it varies from household to household. it varies from person to person, depending on your needs. I think that just being able to keep that at the forefront of your mind is like communication. What am I needing? What are we needing as a family? what would I like have with my partner and, you know, doing the best that we can with where we are, kids needs, all of that, you know? So I think if you can find that for yourself, I feel like you could be. successful, right? I mean, there's always ebbs and flows and we have to have flexibility. But yeah, fairly successful with that.

kayla_1_03-03-2025_091104:

relationships, but in everything to where it's about going back to basics. And I feel like when we talk about communication in our marriages and in our relationships, it really is like, you have to have good communication. A good foundation in that before anything else can really flourish because communication isn't just about talking. It's also about being able to listen and when we can listen, we can really hear what's going on for our partner and understand how things that we're doing or maybe not doing are affecting them. And so I love that you brought up communication.

alyssa-booth--she-her-_1_03-03-2025_091104:

Yeah, for sure. And I think that something that we also have to remember is that those conversations are ongoing and constant. I know for me as someone who, struggles with anxiety and all of these different things, like, my husband understands, but he doesn't understand understand, you know, until

kayla_1_03-03-2025_091104:

Yeah.

alyssa-booth--she-her-_1_03-03-2025_091104:

and he's like, Oh my gosh, I'm so overwhelmed. I'm like, this is me all the time, you know, like,

kayla_1_03-03-2025_091104:

Yes.

alyssa-booth--she-her-_1_03-03-2025_091104:

welcome to my world.

kayla_1_03-03-2025_091104:

Oh yeah.

alyssa-booth--she-her-_1_03-03-2025_091104:

But yeah, Instead of me shutting down and saying, okay, I got this. And I just need to like figure it out, which yes, I do being able to be open and leaning in on my partner and saying, Hey, like today I'm just really struggling. And I need help and I need support, or I'm just going to go to target and leave the house or I'm going to go on a walk or, you know what I mean? Cause sometimes me just going and doing something for like an hour, you know, can help me to regroup, but being able to really. in and share the things that you need especially if you're in a situation where, you know, you might be struggling with something or vice versa. Right. And the partner, you know, I mean, he doesn't deal with that on a day to day basis. So

kayla_1_03-03-2025_091104:

Yeah.

alyssa-booth--she-her-_1_03-03-2025_091104:

it's not at the forefront of his mind. and so for me to be able to voice that, I think is also really helpful. Mm

kayla_1_03-03-2025_091104:

to lean on your partner and that you can, that can also help make the difference. That was something that I struggled with myself is not that I couldn't trust my husband or that I couldn't lean on him, but I had been taught to just do everything myself or You don't want to ever rely on a man yet, yet get married, right? Right. Like never rely on a man, never put all your eggs in one basket. And that kind of messaging really affects you going into a marriage where it doesn't work unless you are leaning on each other and going to each other for support. So

alyssa-booth--she-her-_1_03-03-2025_091104:

Yeah.

kayla_1_03-03-2025_091104:

had to learn that personally that I can't do it or I shouldn't be the one. Sure, sure. I, I can. Right. But is that good for me? No. Is my marriage gonna be better if I can lean on my partner? Absolutely.

alyssa-booth--she-her-_1_03-03-2025_091104:

I feel that so much because my mom really wanted to raise my sister and I as independent women.

kayla_1_03-03-2025_091104:

Mm-hmm. Yeah.

alyssa-booth--she-her-_1_03-03-2025_091104:

but it became this hyper independence where, You know, we gained strength in doing it all ourselves. And I was previously married and in that relationship, I had to do it all myself. Like I didn't have a choice. I was kind of one of those like married single moms. And then I was a single mom for a long time and working and balancing every single thing. So for a very long time, it was all on me. And when I married my husband now. I was like, oh, he wants to help, you know, like he wants

kayla_1_03-03-2025_091104:

Yeah.

alyssa-booth--she-her-_1_03-03-2025_091104:

things, you know He made an appointment with my youngest, of course chipped his tooth on new year's day And

kayla_1_03-03-2025_091104:

Oh,

alyssa-booth--she-her-_1_03-03-2025_091104:

he like made an appointment with the dentist, you know Like he called the dentist and he made an

kayla_1_03-03-2025_091104:

Wow. Yeah.

alyssa-booth--she-her-_1_03-03-2025_091104:

you know growing up. I wasn't really around men or dads that took that initiative and so Even though like, I know that he's there and supportive and all of the different things, I'm still like, Oh yeah, he is there, you know, he is a good dad. He is involved. He does want to support me. And

kayla_1_03-03-2025_091104:

Mm-hmm

alyssa-booth--she-her-_1_03-03-2025_091104:

that reminder that I can ask for help and that that's really what it is, is a partnership. And we share the mental load of, raising kids the household chores our finances, our jobs, our schedules, like everything, you know, Is is talked about and sometimes a day to day basis because things are just crazy and chaotic

kayla_1_03-03-2025_091104:

Mm-hmm

alyssa-booth--she-her-_1_03-03-2025_091104:

sure on a week to week basis we talk about, What we're gonna do who's gonna cook dinner

kayla_1_03-03-2025_091104:

Yeah.

alyssa-booth--she-her-_1_03-03-2025_091104:

picking up the kids, you know, all these different things and so it's been really good for me, too As time has gone on, you know to be like, okay I don't have to do all of the things because it's freaking exhausting. I mean, no one wants to have to do all of that

kayla_1_03-03-2025_091104:

Oh, no. And, and I know, like, our moms came from really good places, right? they probably didn't have, and maybe it wasn't them, but like, their own mothers probably didn't have the support that. Our partners are offering us today because things have changed, but that type of upbringing and like, you have to be a strong, independent woman doesn't mean you have to do everything on your own. Sure, maybe you want to know how to do everything on your own in the event that you have to, but to come at things as like, you're the only one who, can do it and you should be the only one that can do it is only going to hurt us.

alyssa-booth--she-her-_1_03-03-2025_091104:

I agree. I think my mom definitely came from a great place, and I know she's really proud of my sister and I. And my brother, too. I have a younger brother. But yeah. I think it's just one of those things where if you don't have to do it all on your own, you shouldn't, and it's okay to

kayla_1_03-03-2025_091104:

Yeah.

alyssa-booth--she-her-_1_03-03-2025_091104:

help. And I think, too, even when was a single mom and I had to kind of do all the things on my own. Yeah. I agree. Asking for help, I think, was hard because I felt like I, kind of got myself into this position and, you know, whatever, and that was

kayla_1_03-03-2025_091104:

Yeah.

alyssa-booth--she-her-_1_03-03-2025_091104:

for me, and so if there's anyone listening that's a single mom, and you don't have that partner, find your people because people do want to help. People really do want to help.

kayla_1_03-03-2025_091104:

Yeah. And they're not just being nice, offering the help. And if they are, just be nice and you take Their help that's on them. Not on you.

alyssa-booth--she-her-_1_03-03-2025_091104:

Yeah, for sure. For sure.

kayla_1_03-03-2025_091104:

I also want to like really highlight if it hasn't already been made clear that you can still be a strong, independent woman and have support and ask for help.

alyssa-booth--she-her-_1_03-03-2025_091104:

Yeah, and I think that I've moved from a place of that Hyper independence to the interdependent, and not even just with my partner, but with my friends, with my community, with the people that are supporting me and being able to lean on them and, you know, even just have more honest conversations about, I'm struggling or, I'm overwhelmed or I just need events and talk and, you know, support in all the different ways from people again, who are there to support you and want to support you. Let people support you.

kayla_1_03-03-2025_091104:

Yes. I had seen again, another real, it was this mom who was saying like. Yes, it takes a village, but it also takes us being good villagers for that to be possible. And I hadn't even thought about that, like what, makes a good villager? And it's not just you offering the support, but are you also taking support from your village? Cause you can't just be the only one. And you asking for help shows others that it's okay to ask for your support as well.

alyssa-booth--she-her-_1_03-03-2025_091104:

Yeah, absolutely. I feel like too, showing that for your kids is also really important. You know, I work with a lot of moms who, kind of have this like perfectionistic people pleasing, you know, tendency. And it's really hard for them to ask for help or seek for help or say they're struggling or whatnot. And you know, not that I'm trying to like guilt or shame anyone, but it's like your kids are also watching to see like, Hey,

kayla_1_03-03-2025_091104:

Yeah.

alyssa-booth--she-her-_1_03-03-2025_091104:

seems to be doing it all and not asking for help and Whatever their perception of that is. And so being able to model that I think is also really important too. Absolutely.

kayla_1_03-03-2025_091104:

I mean, I think we forget that our kids. Don't learn from what we tell them. They learn from what they watch us doing because that's what's happening most often is what we're doing and the habits that we're showing them.

alyssa-booth--she-her-_1_03-03-2025_091104:

I, drink coffee every morning. I have to have my coffee at least two cups. everyone knows I have my coffee in the morning.

kayla_1_03-03-2025_091104:

Girl, I have mine right here.

alyssa-booth--she-her-_1_03-03-2025_091104:

oh, yeah, girl, right here. I got it all

kayla_1_03-03-2025_091104:

Yeah.

alyssa-booth--she-her-_1_03-03-2025_091104:

And my toddler has been coming up and saying, I want coffee. I want coffee. Because he sees me in the morning going to my Keurig, making my coffee every morning. And so he's been asking for coffee. And so I got these little hot chocolate pods for him so I could make him a hot

kayla_1_03-03-2025_091104:

Oh, cute. Yeah. Oh yeah, absolutely.

alyssa-booth--she-her-_1_03-03-2025_091104:

that I do, I teach a lot about body image and, intuitive eating and all of those kinds of things. And, to your point, I tell my clients, like, your kids are watching, right? Like, even if you tell them, Love your body, eat all foods, you're beautiful, all these things, like, they see how you treat yourself, they see what you're eating, how you're eating, they see how you're talking to yourself, they see you look in the mirror and, and you're like, oh, gosh, like, I don't like how I look, right? And even if you don't say that out loud, they can see your facial expressions, they see that you feel disgusted. and they internalize that, and again, it's monkey see, monkey do, right? Like, they'll, copy and be like, oh, well, that's what we do. And especially if you're a mom with a daughter, and they're watching you, you know, and of course, right, this is all kind of generalized, But at a certain point in time, daughters kind of look up to their moms as role models, and sons will look up to others if they're, you

kayla_1_03-03-2025_091104:

Yeah. Oh, yeah.

alyssa-booth--she-her-_1_03-03-2025_091104:

I didn't even have to teach my kid to want coffee, he just did, because that's what I do, and he's around me, and so I feel like motherhood is kind of like a mirror to ourselves sometimes, and kind of shows some of the things that, we either want to pass down to our kids, or don't want to pass down to our kids I feel like a lot of times with my clients, a lot of these things resurface, after they become moms, for sure.

kayla_1_03-03-2025_091104:

I feel like sometimes you don't even realize you struggle with something until you become a mom that it becomes like a parent.

alyssa-booth--she-her-_1_03-03-2025_091104:

Yes.

kayla_1_03-03-2025_091104:

Yeah.

alyssa-booth--she-her-_1_03-03-2025_091104:

I remember I used to and this was with my oldest when he was younger I guess I used to say damn it a lot. And then he started saying it and I was like, oh no, he's, he's listening, he's saying it. And then it made me realize how much I'm saying that word.

kayla_1_03-03-2025_091104:

Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. so you had just talked about how you do a lot of work with body image. How has, how do you think like body image plays in us connecting with our partner? So yeah, we're talking about moms, but this is also something that affects men as well, correct?

alyssa-booth--she-her-_1_03-03-2025_091104:

Yes, this is something that I think impacts, I want to say everyone, but almost everyone, right? So if it's not you, it's going to be your friend, or your mom, or maybe even your daughter is struggling with body image, or maybe your partner, or whoever. I think that we are all impacted in some way, shape, or form a body image struggle.

kayla_1_03-03-2025_091104:

Hmm. Yeah. And I, unfortunately, yes, it does impact men, but for women, the standards that are put on us to look a certain way is far more, I don't know, ridiculous than what is put on men. Like, I mean, at one point it was like, they're talking about dad bods, right? But nowhere in the conversation, was it okay for moms to have a mom bod?

alyssa-booth--she-her-_1_03-03-2025_091104:

Yeah, no, dadbots are so great, and we love that dads were able to, you know, birth their babies. Oh wait, no, that wasn't them, right? You know what I mean? It's like, that

kayla_1_03-03-2025_091104:

Yeah.

alyssa-booth--she-her-_1_03-03-2025_091104:

And I think it's just so interesting because, know, we see that, and, and we kind of, laugh and make jokes, but then when we really think about it, it's like, no, that's horrible and not to allow dad bods to exist because, you know, bodies exist in all different shapes and

kayla_1_03-03-2025_091104:

Yeah.

alyssa-booth--she-her-_1_03-03-2025_091104:

but I think it's the shame that moms feel. It's the shame of our body changing and, whether it be our weight changing or things are showing up in different places or things that were up here are now down there, you know, like all of the shifts in our body and changes that are really normal. These are normal changes. What I always tell my clients is that bodies will change. We know that bodies will

kayla_1_03-03-2025_091104:

Mm hmm. Mm

alyssa-booth--she-her-_1_03-03-2025_091104:

in your life. and so the fact that we are still fighting against that and seeing our body changing as like some sort of failure I think really puts so much more stress on women. who are already stressed out enough, you know what I mean? like I mentioned, you know, we have soccer, soccer practice, soccer

kayla_1_03-03-2025_091104:

Yeah.

alyssa-booth--she-her-_1_03-03-2025_091104:

band, my kid's not sleeping, I work, you know what I

kayla_1_03-03-2025_091104:

Yeah. Mm

alyssa-booth--she-her-_1_03-03-2025_091104:

top of that, now I have to worry about, my legs having cellulite, or my stomach hanging over my pants a little bit more, or whatever it is, you know? And it's like that should be the least of our worries, is those changes that happen naturally, natural body fluctuations through our lives.

kayla_1_03-03-2025_091104:

hmm. And I think, what I hated the most about, like, the dad bod kind of, I don't know, wave? I don't even know what to call it. But it was almost like, we're giving dads permission,

alyssa-booth--she-her-_1_03-03-2025_091104:

Mm

kayla_1_03-03-2025_091104:

right, to have this type of body, but women, no, no, no, not you. Like you have to look perfect. Your body has to look a certain way for you to be accepted or for you to be acceptable wearing certain clothing. Mm-hmm

alyssa-booth--she-her-_1_03-03-2025_091104:

Well, and I think it's even in the, like, what's not said, too. Because I think that, and especially, like, when we think of celebrities, right? Because these are the people that are most talked about, but, you know, to celebrities that are like, oh, you know, she doesn't even look like she had a baby. she's already back to her pre baby weight, or she's looking better than ever with two small children on her hips, you know what I mean? And so, not even that we're being told mom bods quote unquote are bad, it's that these other bodies that are more, you know, societally and kind of like meet that standard are being told celebrated and almost is like the ideal. And so

kayla_1_03-03-2025_091104:

Mm-hmm

alyssa-booth--she-her-_1_03-03-2025_091104:

our bodies and we're like, wow, well I don't look like that. Or my body doesn't look how it did before, or, I'm holding onto this weight and, it's not supposed to do that because, you know, Jennifer Lopez's body didn't do that. And she had twins or whatever it is, you know, whatever ridiculous thing. And so I think it's also just like, what's. And then I think there's also the component of, bounce back culture losing your baby weight getting back to pre pregnancy weight you know, toning your mom bod, right? Like there's a lot of quote unquote, health influencers, fitness influencers that target moms specifically for those changes in their bodies.

kayla_1_03-03-2025_091104:

Mm-hmm Yeah. And I was doing a radio show for a little bit here locally, and I had quite a few people and some were men and some were women. That asked the question of like, well, how do I approach my partner and let them know, That I would want them to lose weight, or how do I tell them that they need to better their health? And so what I usually said was, don't make it about the weight. Make it about your concern for their well being, but don't bring up the weight. So I guess my question for you is, how would someone address that concern? If it really was a concern about their health and not about their weight. I guess we could talk about both.

alyssa-booth--she-her-_1_03-03-2025_091104:

Yeah, I mean, The question that I would ask back is are you concerned about their health all of the time or only when their body has gained weight and you don't like that? Is that the only time you're concerned? Is when, you know, you're uncomfortable that their body has changed? Because there's so much more to health than weight. can weight know, whether we gain weight or lose weight be indicative that there is some sort of or physical health condition happening. Yes, right. We can't take that off the table But if you're concerned about your partner, are you concerned about them all of the time because those are questions To me if you're concerned about your partner that should be happening in conversations on a day to day, week to week basis. Like, hey, how are you doing? I noticed that you haven't taken care of yourself or that maybe you have seen more depressed. And so, you know, is there some way I can help you or support you? Or, do we need to go to therapy? Or do we, want to Spend some more time together or do we want to go like on family walks so we're all getting outside and the kids can just go bonkers because they're bouncing off the walls in the house, right?

kayla_1_03-03-2025_091104:

Mm hmm.

alyssa-booth--she-her-_1_03-03-2025_091104:

are there concerns consistently or is it I'm ignoring my partner and then all of a sudden I notice they gain weight and I don't like that and so now I'm going to bring it up because all of a sudden I'm concerned.

kayla_1_03-03-2025_091104:

Yeah.

alyssa-booth--she-her-_1_03-03-2025_091104:

to me it's not a partner and their weight issue, it's the other person's issue.

kayla_1_03-03-2025_091104:

Oh, absolutely. Yeah. And how can weight impact someone in the bedroom intimately? Do you ever have clients who come in and their concern is like. it's hard for me to be intimate because I don't like the way that I look. And if so, what can they do to feel more confident in the body that they have now, not to feel like, oh, I need to go make all these changes and change the way that my body looks.

alyssa-booth--she-her-_1_03-03-2025_091104:

Assuming the partner isn't one that is commenting on their weight and is supportive of the changes in body types then I would say conversation and communication around it. And I would also say going slow in intimacy and doing things that feel comfortable. Because I think the thing that happens too is that You know, when our body changes, we're still kind of trying to get used to it as well, you know, I kind of relate it to a haircut, so like, I have really long hair, and if I were to cut, you know, 12 inches off of my hair, and have a bob haircut, I don't know what the heck to do with it, you know what I mean, like, I'd be like, okay, how do I style it, what do I like, do I want to do my bangs? Can I put it

kayla_1_03-03-2025_091104:

Mm-hmm.

alyssa-booth--she-her-_1_03-03-2025_091104:

all these different things. And so we kind of have to get used to that change. And sometimes it takes a while And the same with our body. Sometimes we have to do some of that body image work ourselves to feel okay in our right now body. And I think it's hard because we do have a lot of shaming messages, especially if we have gained weight. And so again, assuming that your partner is. supportive and, unconditionally loving you, then I

kayla_1_03-03-2025_091104:

Yeah.

alyssa-booth--she-her-_1_03-03-2025_091104:

those conversations be really helpful in the bedroom and, kind of going slow and allowing your partner to attracted to you and be sexually attracted to you and want to be intimate in that way. And also just giving yourself permission to enjoy pleasure because everybody should do that,

kayla_1_03-03-2025_091104:

Mm-hmm

alyssa-booth--she-her-_1_03-03-2025_091104:

I mean? Like,

kayla_1_03-03-2025_091104:

Yeah.

alyssa-booth--she-her-_1_03-03-2025_091104:

I think that there can be many different ways to look at it. if we have the partner that is potentially comments about your body and your weight, we will close off, right? We will not feel emotionally, or even physically, like we're talking about intimacy, we might not

kayla_1_03-03-2025_091104:

Yeah.

alyssa-booth--she-her-_1_03-03-2025_091104:

with that partner. And so then that kind of opens a different, can of worms and conversation, but I think I keep going back

kayla_1_03-03-2025_091104:

Yeah. It, yeah. Wanna say that? Yeah. Here we are back in like. The communication piece, because in order to have those conversations, you have to first be comfortable communicating that with your partner, because that's really vulnerable to come to your partner and say, I feel really uncomfortable in my body right now. I'm not used to me. Being this way physically and it's scary because I sometimes think that maybe you don't want me right allowing your partner to Hopefully come and say like no you're beautiful and I love you the way you are no matter what like you're the mother of our children and you went through this physical journey to not just Create them, but to birth them as well and to nourish them with your body if you breastfed, right? And to comfort them and to give them this safe space to feel loved.

alyssa-booth--she-her-_1_03-03-2025_091104:

Yeah, I mean, and I think that there are lots of changes that happen in our body postpartum, but I think even just generally speaking, I'm a human and my body's going to change, you know? So attraction can only take you so far, right?

kayla_1_03-03-2025_091104:

Yeah.

alyssa-booth--she-her-_1_03-03-2025_091104:

And I really believe that if your partner is only focusing on the physical attractive, whatever, and like not going deeper, I mean, I don't know. I mean, of course I want my husband to be attracted to me, but could all my hair

kayla_1_03-03-2025_091104:

Oh, yeah.

alyssa-booth--she-her-_1_03-03-2025_091104:

get burnt or whatever, you know what I mean? And like, I don't want to talk about child, but like things can happen, you know, outside of

kayla_1_03-03-2025_091104:

Oh, absolutely.

alyssa-booth--she-her-_1_03-03-2025_091104:

And so your attraction and your connection and your intimate intimacy with your partner. Hopefully should be so much deeper, right? Like you're building a life together. You're raising a family together, you know, like you're going through the ups and downs together, right? You're experiencing really great and going on vacations and having fun you know what I mean? Like there's so much more to connection and love and relationships and intimacy and all of those different things. And so if you're focused solely on. how my partner looks or doesn't look, then your partner probably needs to be in therapy or something to figure that out. Because there should be

kayla_1_03-03-2025_091104:

Yeah.

alyssa-booth--she-her-_1_03-03-2025_091104:

as I guess

kayla_1_03-03-2025_091104:

Oh.

alyssa-booth--she-her-_1_03-03-2025_091104:

saying.

kayla_1_03-03-2025_091104:

Yeah. Your relationship cannot be solely focused on the physical appearance of you or your partner, because like you said, looks do fade. our bodies change. And sure, there are things that you could do to kind of maybe slow the process, but ultimately our bodies are going to change. We're not going to look the exact same in the future as we did when we met our partners.

alyssa-booth--she-her-_1_03-03-2025_091104:

Yeah.

kayla_1_03-03-2025_091104:

we first had that, what, that quote unquote spark, which I think is really just that, that attraction. It's not even about your connection to them. It's really just like how physically attracted I am to someone.

alyssa-booth--she-her-_1_03-03-2025_091104:

Right. And I always ask people, especially when they're struggling with body image, the question I'll always ask people is are you best friends with your best friend? So I'll ask you that question too. Why are you best friends with your best friend?

kayla_1_03-03-2025_091104:

I'm best friends with my best friend. Because I feel comfortable talking to her, or I'll say them because I have a few. I feel comfortable talking to them about things that I couldn't talk to anyone else about. Like just things that pop up into my life or worries that I have. And they're also my best friends because we can have fun together doing whatever,

alyssa-booth--she-her-_1_03-03-2025_091104:

hmm.

kayla_1_03-03-2025_091104:

Like it doesn't have to be this ultimate vacation. we could have fun watching our kids. Run around and like get all dirty while we sit back, relax, and chat about what's been going on in our week. And that's always fun. Even if our week has been boring. It's not about how we look.

alyssa-booth--she-her-_1_03-03-2025_091104:

Right. usually when I ask people that question, they say things like that because, you know, we've gone through, together and we've connected over our kids and they're fun and they're funny. And we like to go to the park and we like to go to you know, girls nights or whatever. And it's never about well, they're wearing the same jeans they did since high school. school. And, you know, she drinks her green juice every day and has rock hard abs. You know, like we don't love people for those physical qualities. And if they have those qualities, then that's, fine. But that's not why we love people and connect people and want to be with those people. And so I think that that is the same in any relationship, right? I mean, and I wouldn't want someone to be friends with me. Because of my body, like, that would be weird, you know,

kayla_1_03-03-2025_091104:

Yeah.

alyssa-booth--she-her-_1_03-03-2025_091104:

I

kayla_1_03-03-2025_091104:

That would. Oh, she's so good looking. I want to be her friend. Like

alyssa-booth--she-her-_1_03-03-2025_091104:

right, you know, and Think we've also experienced maybe Seeing someone who we thought was conventionally attractive and they did things that maybe were not so great and we see them in a different way. Maybe

kayla_1_03-03-2025_091104:

Oh, yes.

alyssa-booth--she-her-_1_03-03-2025_091104:

attractive. Right. So think that attraction is just so subjective, you know, it is so subjective. And so I think that when we can work on. Focusing on those, deeper, more meaningful parts of our relationship and our partners and our kids and our friendships and all of those kinds of things, then we'll see the beauty in them, right? The beauty doesn't have to be, oh, they're six pack abs and, you know, she looks flawless and doesn't have any pores and like no wrinkles or whatever, you know, like I see people's beauty in. Who they are, their vulnerabilities, and, know, the light that they bring into the world, you know, things that people are really interested in, I'm like, that is so cool, like, I love this about you, you know what I mean? Like, we see that in other people the time, we don't see it in ourselves, and I think that's a shame.

kayla_1_03-03-2025_091104:

Yeah. It really is. And if someone is struggling with their body image, what are some things that they can start doing now to kind of help with that? Like we know, well, I don't know, maybe people don't know that an option is to work with a therapist and go to therapy, but that is something that they can actually turn to a therapist for. Yeah.

alyssa-booth--she-her-_1_03-03-2025_091104:

I work with clients on body image and both my therapy practice and my coaching practice. And I think, something to remember is that having a healthy relationship with your body isn't necessarily looking at your body and being like I love every single thing about my body, right? It's more about appreciating your body. getting to a place where you see yourself as more than your body, right? Just like we talked about the characteristics of, like, our friends or even our partners or whatever. It's more about, I see myself as more than what I look like. see myself as more than what People think about how I look, you know, like if someone doesn't like how I look, then don't look at me, don't look at me. Right. I mean, if you want to look at me and judge me, that is fine. That is your choice, but it's not going to impact me because I am not living for that other person. And I have people that I know love and care about me. in all the ways that my body has changed over the course of my life, you know, because it has, and I think when we see ourselves as more than our body, we start to have an appreciation for our body, and we don't let our body stop us from showing up and living our lives the way that we want to, you know, so when I go to the beach with my kids, I want to be going and getting in the water and, chasing the seagulls and building the sandcastle or whatever. I don't want to be hiding because don't like the way my body looks or whatever. So being able to really fully participate in your life the way that you want to.

kayla_1_03-03-2025_091104:

Oh, I love that being able to fully participate in your life the way you want to. Yeah.

alyssa-booth--she-her-_1_03-03-2025_091104:

Yeah, and I think that does mean, you know, taking care of your body to an extent. And I will say, sometimes we do have to deal with physical things or mental things or whatever. And so I think That journey looks different for everyone. that's why, I mean, of course, as therapists, we say go to therapy, right? But I really do believe in getting that support. And if you're someone who's like, man, like I really struggle with this. I want you to know you don't have to struggle with it forever. This doesn't have to be a lifelong struggle just because this is. like we talked about at the beginning of this episode, lots of people, lots of women, especially struggle with their bodies. And

kayla_1_03-03-2025_091104:

Yeah.

alyssa-booth--she-her-_1_03-03-2025_091104:

just because it's normal doesn't mean you have to do this for the rest of your life and you have to be, at war with your body for the rest of your life.

kayla_1_03-03-2025_091104:

Yeah. And since this is something that you specialize working in, what are ways that you work with the clients that work with you? Cause you said you have your therapy practice and you have your coaching side. You want to talk a little bit about like what the coaching side looks like?

alyssa-booth--she-her-_1_03-03-2025_091104:

Yeah. So, usually, I find that women who struggle with body image also struggle somewhat with their relationship with food. So, whether you've dieted or are dieting, or, you know, struggle with emotional eating, and all of these different things, I feel like it's all kind of intertwined. And so, What I like to do is one, help women to reconnect to their body and build trust with their bodies and know their bodies. so for my last pregnancy, I went through IVF. So much more about my body. I thought I knew women's health. And then I went through IVF and I was like, Oh my gosh, like

kayla_1_03-03-2025_091104:

Well, yeah.

alyssa-booth--she-her-_1_03-03-2025_091104:

about women's bodies that I did not know. And so I'm very thankful for that experience because. got to know my body on a much deeper level than I had before. And so really knowing your body and trusting your body is incredibly important. Deconstructing the belief that you need to be constantly shrinking your body in order to feel worthy, I think, is another thing that I do. So, With that, we look at, you know, messages from, growing up. So a lot of times, you know, my clients had a dieting mom and maybe that was one way that they bonded with each other is like, we're going to go on this diet together, or maybe they were told that they needed to lose weight at a young age, or maybe they were bullied for their body or boyfriend or whatever told them that they needed to lose weight or, you know, all of these different things. Coupled with society, right? As we talked about like the mom bods versus the dad bods and like age backward and be

kayla_1_03-03-2025_091104:

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

alyssa-booth--she-her-_1_03-03-2025_091104:

those things as well. Then I really work on helping women to connect to their values, to build meaning in their life. Right. So we're not focusing on. My looks, you know, determine my worth or what it says on the scale determines my worth. It's how I want to live my life and how I want to show up in life and engage in the things and participate in the things that are really important and meaningful for me. So What are you doing that brings you so much joy that you like forget about what your body looks like, you know, so things like that. And not that we're always going to forget about what our body looks like again, because some people do have some sort of limitation or things that they need to take consideration. But essentially, like, what is it that actually brings you joy, you know, and, engaging in those things? Yeah. And then with everyone, I think boundaries are so incredibly important. So I love to help women set boundaries. A lot of times the women I work with again, or like those perfectionistic people, pleasing, you know, care about everyone's feeling empath, and so helping them to channel that in the right ways where it's you know, being more fulfilling than it is depleting and draining. I call my coaching, like, empowered mind and body coaching because I do want you to feel empowered, in the way you think about yourself and how you show up and in your body and feeling connected so you can really take care of yourself from a place of, like Authenticity and agency and autonomy, instead of doing all these things that all these people are telling you to do on the internet in order to lose the weight or, don't look like a mother color your hair, do all these different

kayla_1_03-03-2025_091104:

Yeah.

alyssa-booth--she-her-_1_03-03-2025_091104:

know, where it doesn't feel like you're a robot trying to just be like, okay, well, what is this person saying? What is this person saying?

kayla_1_03-03-2025_091104:

Oh, yeah.

alyssa-booth--she-her-_1_03-03-2025_091104:

being to say, well, what do I say? You know, what do I want to do? How do I want to live my life? How do I want to show up?

kayla_1_03-03-2025_091104:

Oh, yeah. if you haven't already kind of decided what you want for yourself, there are so many people trying to tell you how you should live your life, what you should look like. What you should be eating, what you should be doing with your free time. It can be so confusing. And that in itself, it's exhausting and you don't need any more things draining your energy because motherhood is already enough.

alyssa-booth--she-her-_1_03-03-2025_091104:

It is. It really is. And, a lot of times people will say we all have the same 24 hours in a day and we absolutely do not. No, we don't. No, we don't.

kayla_1_03-03-2025_091104:

No,

alyssa-booth--she-her-_1_03-03-2025_091104:

don't. and especially my 24 hours now looked different than my 24 hours when I was six months postpartum. you know what I mean? And for the whole first year of my youngest son's life, he was not sleeping through the night. And I had a really hard time sleeping. So even as much as I did want to, you know, exercise and whatever, I was freaking tired. And I was like, you know what? I'm going to do what I can when I get sleep. And when I feel energized, you know, I'll do some movement, but I could not. do the consistent movement that I really wanted to do, because I was so tired. I think when we honor those seasons of life we are in, instead of pushing ourselves to wake up at 5 a. m. so that we can go do our HIIT workout, and we can drink our green juice, and then we can meditate, and then we can take a cold plunge, and then we can get ready for the day, because getting ready for the day makes you feel like you can actually do more, and then we do our chores, and then we do all of those things before our kids wake up. And it's like, no and if that's something that you do, that is fine. There's nothing wrong with doing that. But is that realistic? Is it bringing you joy? Is it something that is really fulfilling and meaningful in your life? Or is it just another should that you're doing that's causing more stress? And by the way, stress is bad for everyone. So like,

kayla_1_03-03-2025_091104:

yeah, no,

alyssa-booth--she-her-_1_03-03-2025_091104:

we can do a whole thing on stress, but you don't want to be more stressed than you already are.

kayla_1_03-03-2025_091104:

no, absolutely not. Well, we could probably keep on talking for a whole nother hour, but I just want to so much, Alyssa, for giving us your time today. And if someone's listening, then they're like. I really want to work with her or I want to like find more information about Alyssa. Where is the best way to get into your world and to contact you to get more information about you and your work?

alyssa-booth--she-her-_1_03-03-2025_091104:

Yeah, I am most active on my Instagram. It's Alyssa Booth underscore LPC. I have a lot of content on there. I also have a free Facebook group that you can access.

kayla_1_03-03-2025_091104:

We'll link it in the show notes.

alyssa-booth--she-her-_1_03-03-2025_091104:

but if you

kayla_1_03-03-2025_091104:

Yeah.

alyssa-booth--she-her-_1_03-03-2025_091104:

website you'll be able to see all of the free resources there. You can book a free call with me and then there is the link to join the Facebook group as well. All

kayla_1_03-03-2025_091104:

Okay, cool. And then we'll definitely get all of that linked up in the show notes. So if you're listening, you can just click down to the show notes and access all of that really quick. But thank you again and I hope you have a great rest of your day.

alyssa-booth--she-her-_1_03-03-2025_091104:

All right. Thank you. You too.