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The Modern Moms Roadmap to Balance Podcast
Is it really possible to find balance as a mom? Each week, I'll be bringing you inspiring chats, interviews, and dialogues all based around helping moms like you unlock their potential and lead the balanced life they want. If you enjoy listening to topics that help you lead a more balanced life, then you've come to the right place. I'm obsessed with helping moms lead the life they want without the guilt.
With the right information and support, you can find balance in motherhood without sacrificing your needs.
The Modern Moms Roadmap to Balance Podcast
Episode 41: Navigating Parenthood Challenges: Food Allergies With Special Guest Ashley Comegys, LCSW
Ever wondered when anxiety is actually necessary? Our latest episode promises to equip you with practical strategies and heartfelt insights from Ashley Comegys, a licensed clinical social worker. With a focus on empowering women and mom clinicians, Ashley shares her expertise on building successful online therapy practices and the joys and hurdles of raising three children, each with their unique needs. She candidly discusses how the arrival of her third child reshaped her family's dynamics and the ongoing journey to establish a new sense of normalcy.
Balancing motherhood and personal well-being can often feel like a Herculean task, especially when life throws curveballs like severe food allergies or frequent relocations due to military commitments. Ashley and I dive deep into the emotional and practical aspects of managing these challenges. From sleepless nights to teaching a child about food safety, we explore the importance of community support and the emotional toll such responsibilities can take. You'll gain valuable insights into the evolving nature of motherhood and learn how to adapt to what works best for your family at any given moment.
As we wrap up the episode, we delve into the significance of finding and fostering community, especially in the unpredictable life of military families. Ashley's experiences moving from state to state highlight the necessity of building a robust support system both online and offline. Whether it’s through her podcast "Raised to Empower" or her Instagram, Ashley offers numerous ways to connect and benefit from her wisdom. Don't miss this episode filled with practical advice, emotional support, and a few laughs along the way.
Helpful Links:
List your website/blog
https://www.raisedtoempower.com
https://www.ashleycomegys.com
Social Media Handles
Instagram @RaisedtoEmpower
Raised to Empower Podcast
About the Podcast Host
Kayla Nettleton is a licensed therapist based in TX, business owner, mom of 3 kids and coach for therapists who want support and guidance in their journey in creating an aligned business model so that they can live the freedom based life they've always dreamed of without sacrificing their own needs.
In her private practice as a therapist Kayla specialize in helping women overcome anxiety, perfectionism and people pleasing tendencies so that they can lead a more fulfilled and authentically aligned life
Find Kayla on IG
@kaylanettleton_lcsw
@themodernmomsroadmaptobalance
Email: kayla@kaylanettleton.com
TX Residents can Schedule a Free 20 minute therapy consultation here.
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Welcome back everyone to the Modern Moms Roadmap to Balance podcast. I'm your host, Kayla Nettleton, and today my guest is Ashley Kamages. She's a licensed clinical social worker with a multi-state online therapy practice that helps women with anxiety navigate life transitions and specializes with working with women in the perinatal period, as well as military spouses. Outside of the therapy room, she is passionate about empowering other women and mom clinicians to build their own online therapy practices so they can have the time, freedom, flexibility and autonomy. Ashley also has her own podcast called Race to Empower that helps challenge listeners to break free of mindsets and oppressive systems that often hold us back from stepping out and creating the practices of our dreams. Outside of work, Ashley can be usually found chasing around her two wild boys and baby girl or binging trashy reality TV shows. Man, that is also what I like to do.
Speaker 1:I also have two wild boys and a little girl, although she's in the middle, but they're all a wild tribe. And what kind of trashy TV shows have you been into lately?
Speaker 2:Oh, I have been into. I'm actually like rewatching the Real Housewives of New York right now for some reason I don't know why I got on that kick. But like I I found in my this postpartum with baby number three, like it's just been so intense with three kids that I don't have the mental capacity for anything. That's like really, you know, needs my devote attention. So like any kind of reality show that you know, all the Bravo shows, all of the you know ones that people like cringe at.
Speaker 1:But you're like deep inside you're like this is so entertaining, right, it's that's hilarious, because the all of those raunchy netflix shows yes, those are my jams. I love watching them. And my husband will walk in and goes he'll like give me this, look like, what are you watching? And he likes to joke and tell everyone that I can literally watch anything. And I almost can watch anything, but I, I just like tv in general.
Speaker 2:Yeah yeah, it's an escape. It's an escape. I know you work in mental health as well as I do and I think sometimes, like the trashy tv shows are like a little bit of an escape where I don't have to think I don't have you think I don't have you know, there's an aspect sometimes I'm like, oh, like what's going on in this family system, or like what's going on here that's like this person going off the rails, but yeah, it's like I don't know soothes my soul and makes me be like, okay, maybe my life's not as wild.
Speaker 1:That's. I think it is sometimes Absolutely yes, yes. And speaking of like the three, how like this third one, this third child, kind of it's. It's been wild for you. I also found that with, like our third one, no-transcript. And then now with the three, it was bam. Our world totally just kind of almost exploded and everything had to change, everything about how we were doing life, with two really needed to shift.
Speaker 2:Yeah Well, and I, you know, obviously I don't have another experience to compare to at my own, but you know there's times that I'm like, okay, how would this be different if my first two children weren't boys, or that my you know other two children didn't have some of the struggles they have.
Speaker 2:You know my we debated having a third child. I have always wanted three. My husband he was like I think I'm okay with two. And he had said, like when I hit 40, we're done. And you know, we decided, all right, let's at least try for the third. And the clock was ticking of his 40th birthday approaching and I, you know, it wasn't happening. We were trying for a while and it wasn't happening. And so I was coming to a place of just kind of within myself accepting that, okay, it may be, just these two and my two are pretty crazy and pretty wild. And so there was a part of me that was like, okay, like this, this is a lot already and so maybe this is for the best. And so when I did find out I was pregnant with the third, there was a major oh crap, oh my gosh, what's happening?
Speaker 2:Like I was really excited but also like, oh gosh, like what is about to happen. And by no means I do not regret having my daughter whatsoever. I'm so excited that I have a girl and I'm you know, it's so beautiful to watch my boys come into this other part of themselves, this nurturing piece of this little baby. But it's been a lot and you know, all of my kids are exactly three years apart and it worked really well for the first two, that age difference, and the middle one to the youngest.
Speaker 2:I don't know if it's just again the dynamic of three or just his personality, but he is stubborn and headstrong, and so, again, it's really interesting because, while you know, a six and a half year old and a three and a half year old are much more self-sufficient than a baby, I have almost felt like the demands of me for the older to have been I don't know, have increased in certain ways that I don't feel like we're necessarily present there before having a third.
Speaker 2:And I don't know if it's just they're needing more from me because I'm not as available, because I breastfeed, or the baby needs mommy or whatever it is that it's definitely been really hard to just find any kind of sense of family normal. I don't know if that's the right word, but like because it's just, it's been a major adjustment with three kids.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, yeah. That. That is like what is our new normal or the new rhythm that you can get used to.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and you know my oldest he has. He has severe food allergies, he has ADHD and anxiety, and so there's just a lot that he requires from us. And that is hard because a lot of times with his emotional needs, it can throw off the whole you know, the whole family in a lot of ways, and so there's a lot that's required to be giving there at times. And so where we're like, okay, we're getting into a routine, but something sets him off and now things are not the way they used to be and he's really upset that it can be hard.
Speaker 2:Like I thought we were finding a rhythm. Be hard Like I thought we were finding a rhythm here, right, I thought we were finding a new normal or new system and that gets thrown off. Or like we're all sleeping and now the baby has decided to go through a new leap phase, right, and she's not sleeping. So it's hard when, yeah, you're not able to find that rhythm because you just end up in like survival mode, and I think that that has to happen at times. But there's a point at which your body's like when is this going to be done?
Speaker 1:Oh, yeah, yeah, absolutely. And that brings us to the question that I asked all my guests and I didn't mean to skip over it, it just I like dove straight in but even like thinking about all of that and the definition of balance itself what is your own definition of balance? And maybe, how has that changed with adding this third child?
Speaker 2:So I feel like balance is a tricky idea or concept when it comes to motherhood or parenthood, and I think there tends to be this idea of like balance is something you arrive at or like you achieve this like final place of balance, and I like to think of it more of how do you pivot? That balance isn't necessarily gonna look like all the scales are even, but that there are going to be times when, visually, it looks more out of balance, right, where like more time or more resources or more energy is being given to this other area or one particular area of life, because that's what's needed, and then, six months later, it may be shifted and pivoted to another area. And so I like to think of it that balance isn't like okay, the scales are all okay and we've got this like thing, this like well-oiled machine, right, that's working. But it's more of how are we like pivoting and shifting to what is happening now and that, recognizing that really what has to happen is there are going to be times when maybe my mental and emotional well-being are not top of priority in a certain period of time?
Speaker 2:You know, I've really been thinking, trying to just wrap my mind more around, like seasons of motherhood and like reminding myself that this is not forever.
Speaker 2:This is a period, even if that period is a month or a year, and so that where there are parts that maybe I'm not able to give as much to myself or to this other part of myself or my family, that that doesn't mean that it's forever, and so is it.
Speaker 2:You know, thinking of balance, like is it sustainable, even if it's just for a short period of time, right when maybe more is having to be given because the baby is not sleeping and so it's requiring me to be up long hours of night, at night, and I'm exhausted during the day? And so you know that part of me that craves getting in some kind of physical activity and some kind of movement, some kind of exercise, and that would help me to feel more whole. I'm not able to give time to that for now, and sleep is more of a priority, or just vegging on the couch because I don't have the capacity to do something else. So I, for me, like balance, is figuring out what works best for you and your family at this time, knowing that it is going to shift and change depending on the seasons that you're in and or that your child is in.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and it sounds like there is a piece in there that is about accepting where you are right now and choosing to give that time or energy or space to these other specific things, knowing that there will be a time where you can focus on these other things.
Speaker 2:Yeah, because I've definitely found myself at various times, you know, frustrated or just like almost angry, like, oh, why can't I? Why can't I do this thing that I want to do? Or why, why are things different, right, why I used to be able to do this. Or you know, I'm I'm a therapist and I have a private practice and I have a separate kind of coaching and consulting business, and that has been one of those areas at various times in motherhood where I have these businesses and I love that.
Speaker 2:I love having that part of myself. It's where I get to have a creative outlet. It's something that I've created for myself and it's a really important part of my identity. But there have been times when I've not been able to give to my business what I would like to give because of my family's needs, and so there have been moments where I've been angry about that or frustrated about that and getting for me, getting to a place of again recognizing that this is for a period of time this is not forever, that there will be a period of time that I can come back more into this, and so I've been able to approach those times with more of an acceptance, right Like I don't fully like it, but I'm accepting that by not trying to stretch myself thin and like force this thing to happen, I'm actually achieving, you know, probably what we would call more of a sense of balance, where I'm not over committing myself to all these things and even more exhausted than I, than I already am. But, yeah, finding that place of.
Speaker 2:how do I accept that this is what's happening for right now, even though this is not forever, and can I be okay with that for this season?
Speaker 1:And can I be okay with that for this season? And what's coming to mind for me right now, too, is this how oftentimes as moms, we will compare ourselves to other people's circumstances and kind of that.
Speaker 1:The image that's coming up for me is how the putting down your kids and then having like a few hours in the evening to just like do whatever you want and comparing yourself, so like, for me, I never had that. My kids, we. They were, they liked to sleep next to someone. Yeah, they were very much contact sleepers and so and we co slept and I have had myself and I've also had clients who talk about how it's frustrating seeing other moms being able to put their child down for bed and then like leave and everything's great and they have a few hours to themselves, and it's that comparison piece that really robs us of our ability to look at things differently or to accept our circumstance and make the changes for ourselves that we need to make, based on what we want versus what everyone else might be doing.
Speaker 2:Yeah, well, and I think too, with that comparison of asking, like is what that other, what I'm comparing, you know, myself, to this other person or this other experience, is that ultimately what I want? Right, like is it? You know where I'm. I'm jealous that this mom, you know, is able to have all this time for herself, you know, but one, is that real, how much is she actually getting this time for herself?
Speaker 2:But also, like you know, for me, we've had children that have allowed us to be able to put them down and to walk away and, to, you know, fall asleep on their own. And yet, at the same time, there's times when I'm like I would love to be able to just kind of cuddle with my kids, but I don't sleep well then, they don't sleep well then. And so, again, this comparison, what works for somebody, or what is, you know, what they're able to do? It doesn't mean that you're doing something wrong, right that, like, you are choosing, or that your kids are struggling to fall asleep and that they need you to fall asleep with them, right that? That doesn't mean that, like, oh, you shouldn't do that, kayla, because you need to be able to have this time at night for yourself, right it?
Speaker 2:just means like that is what works for you guys, that is what works for your family, and it doesn means like that is what works for you guys, that is what works for your family, and it doesn't mean that I'm doing something wrong if I'm not doing that or you're doing something right if you are and I, and I think comparison is so. It's so hard because, as women, I feel like we compare so many things about ourself and about our life and now, with you know the age of social media, it's so easy to compare, not always comparing realities, but comparing what we think it's supposed to be like and that, I think, gets us, you know, that idea of I've got to achieve this state of balance or I've got to get this thing different.
Speaker 2:but why, like, are you trying to change this thing in yourself or in your family? Because you think you're supposed to, or because, like, if it really doesn't work for you, okay, then, yeah, let's, let's work on finding a way to shift some stuff, but don't do it just because you think it's what you're supposed to do.
Speaker 1:Yes, that's so spot on, and it takes. It's giving yourself some time to think about, like what is it that you really want for yourself and your family? Being able to give yourself some time to reflect on what that is, versus just looking at what everybody else is doing. Not that, not to say that that's, that's never like the the bad thing to do. Of course looking at what other people are doing can give you ideas. Thing to do. Of course, looking at what other people are doing can give you ideas. It's when you compare what you believe their circumstances are to yours, right, right.
Speaker 2:No, and we can learn from people right Like this is what has worked for me. This is how I've been able to do it. But again, am I looking to this person to tell me what to do or give me permission to do the thing? If that's the case, then we need to ask ourselves why. Why are we asking that permission? Or why do we think that they're the person that gets to tell us how we're supposed to get through life or motherhood?
Speaker 1:Yeah, and you touched a little bit about your son who has food allergies. What has that been like for you?
Speaker 2:I never. You know, before I got this diagnosis for my child, I never realized, like I knew I would be anxious, but I didn't know how anxious I would be. I knew I would learn new things, but I didn't know how many things I would learn. You know, I knew this would be hard, but I didn't know how hard it would be and I was just like yep, yep, yep, yeah, Like it just resonated so much.
Speaker 2:He was diagnosed at six months old with a severe egg, dairy peanut nut allergy. We had known that something wasn't quite right from pretty much early on. He was really struggling to gain weight. He would break out in these I mean we're talking like two months old break out in these really weird rashes and bloody stools, mucousy diapers, and so I was doing all the things I was told, you know, cut out dairy and soy from my diet. We eventually had to go on some specialty formulas and stuff, but always kind of just had this gut. Something wasn't right and we had a situation happen where he was thankfully exposed just topically to egg. He never ingested it because his whole face swelled up and I fully believe, given how severe his egg allergy is, that had he ingested it, which, like it's one of those soft foods you give babies. I don't know that he would be here today, given how bad it is, given how bad it is, and so you know. You talk about seasons of life and this balance where you don't realize how much food is a part?
Speaker 2:of life until it becomes a problem. And so at different parts of life, it's not felt as big of a demand put on us. Right At six months old a year, he's with me. I'm choosing what he gets and what he doesn't get. That's not as hard. Well, then you start going into preschool or you start going to elementary school and there's more risk of exposure, and you know, not just ingesting but people touching. And so it's not just I'm having to teach my kid, but I'm having to teach everybody around him what to do if he has an anaphylactic reaction, what to do if there's an exposure, what he can and cannot have. And so it requires you, as the parent, to kind of constantly be in like the state of hypervigilance to a degree and at the same time not let it take over your life. And to you know, you talk about balance, I think, with his food allergies, and I'm just kind of processing this.
Speaker 2:As you know, we're talking here, I think part of the you know, talking about balance for me has been what is the balance for myself? And then also helping him to learn what is the balance between yeah, anxiety is actually healthy around food allergies, right, like he needs to have, that we need to have this of nope, you can't just pick up whatever you want and put it in your mouth. We have to read labels, we have to find out what ingredients were made in this. And then the balance between having to have that awareness but also not, you know, not not living our life Right, able to not feel like the world is just this constantly dangerous place and that he can't live a normal life. It is a constant battle within for me as his mom, and then also trying to help support him in that, because he does have to have an awareness.
Speaker 2:You know and we've talked with him since he was a toddler of you know of can't have milk, can't have eggs. He has successfully passed his peanut challenge and nut challenge and so he's no longer allergic to those. But this is something he's going to have to deal with the rest of his life and at this point there's not a cure for it. He's in an oral immunotherapy treatment that has helped to slightly desensitize him. So they call it basically like one bite safe that if he were to ingest, by accident, eggs or milk, the risk of anaphylactic response, would you know, is minimal or is lessened.
Speaker 2:And so again, it's just this constant balance between having to be kind of hypervigilant, feeling like almost like a helicopter parent with him, but also, no, I can let you go. And you need to have independence, you need to have freedom. I have other kids that need me Like you are okay, you know, reassuring him in that. So there are kids that need me like you are okay, you know, reassuring him in that. So it's definitely been a journey. I feel like I operate now probably on a day-to-day more, you know, not in that highly anxious state, which is good, but it rears its head at times.
Speaker 2:He went to kindergarten last year and that was really hard for me in. It's just hard, I think, sending your kid off to kindergarten in general oh yes, you'd been at the same daycare for two years at that point. And so you build trust, right. You build trust with these people that are caring for your kid, not just because they're his teachers, but because they know what he can and cannot eat. They know to call you if something seems off, and so now you're sending him to this new school. What is that? What are they going to do? Are they actually going to keep him safe? And that was really really hard, excuse me, really really hard at the beginning. And we are actually a military family. So we'll be moving this summer and so it's going to be the same thing again.
Speaker 2:You know we're moving to a new school and do the administrators understand? Like he has to have five or four accommodations? Do they understand that Like no, you can't just keep his EpiPens locked in a closet somewhere else, like he has to have them in the classroom. The teacher has to know what to do. So you know it could be easy to just throw yourself completely into this and give into that place of anxiety.
Speaker 2:But that's where trying to just reassure myself in those moments of like it's going to be okay, and if it's not okay, like I can pull him out of the school, I can access other resources, that kind of thing. But yeah, this has been, it's a, it's a constant evolving situation for us. As he grows and, you know, hits other developmental milestones and food becomes an issue and other things you know. And so you know getting connected to organizations like FAIR, which is the Food Allergy Research and Education. They have a lot of resources and support for us as parents and in helping to educate schools and that kind of thing never envisioned for myself when I was having kids. But it is a constant, ever evolving journey for us, not just, you know, me and him as his mom, but really as our whole family, because it really does impact the entire family.
Speaker 1:Absolutely. And what is what has been one thing to make to help with that anxiety piece? Because, because I mean, I was just thinking as you were telling the story, I even got like goosebumps, even just like imagining having to experience that for myself or one of my own kids yeah, and always knowing like at any point, they could accidentally eat something or someone, one of their classmates, just being really friendly, offering them something and what, what? What has helped you with that piece of anxiety?
Speaker 2:I think three things. I think one educating my son honestly has been a really big part of that, because when my anxiety creeps up and it's like, oh my gosh, what's going to happen, I'm reminded that he will be the first to ask somebody when they offer him anything, does it have milk or eggs? Like. He will ask that in times when, like buddy, like no, there's not, like there would not be milk and eggs in a banana Right, like so.
Speaker 2:I think reminding myself that we have educated him. We have taught him from young, you know, to always ask before he has something, so that you know I remind myself of that. I think connecting with other food allergy parents has been really helpful. I was able to attend last October the fair national conference. It was in Orlando, which is not far from where I currently live, and I told my husband he didn't go with me, it was just me, and I said that I left that conference feeling like, oh, like I'm not weird, we're not abnormal, that like he has a separate sponge that we use to clean his dishes from somebody else.
Speaker 2:And so it helped to normalize some of the places where, like, there is a little bit of anxiety, but recognizing that like this is a healthy level of anxiety here and it's not something that I need to just get a do away with Right. So, connecting with supports, connecting with other people in that community, and then, honestly, I think the third has been to just vocalize it, whether it's to friends of mine or to my husband where, for example, you know the start of kindergarten, we had gone through this whole process of sitting down with a school and helping to put a 504 accommodation plan in and it was a big ordeal to get to that point Met with the teachers, all of this stuff and within a couple weeks of school starting, his teacher quit and so we were going to have to go through a process of new teachers and subs and it was a panic for me Like it was this oh my gosh, do you understand how much work it was to get to this point, to get like okay.
Speaker 2:I trust these people, I had built a relationship with them even in just a couple of weeks. And you know what I had to do is I, you know, had moments where to some of my girlfriends and to my husband I said, look, I recognize that this is just a really anxious. Again, he knows not to to touch anything. The principal knows, you know what is going on, but I'm still really scared. And so being able to just kind of externalize it a bit helped me to get it out of my head and gave me like, okay, take some breaths, we're going to sleep on it. In the morning we're going to just email the principals to say what's the plan, right? So being able to just verbalize it for me and to kind of name it helped to take a bit of the intensity and power of that anxiety away.
Speaker 2:And then again, yeah, it is reasonable and understandable to be scared that now there's going to be this new provider or this new teacher in my classroom, but that I have a resources. I have, you know, advocates at the school that I can still contact, I can still reach out to. My son knows what he's allergic to. He's really good about telling people that. And so just trying to remind myself of those things really helped me to get through through that. That was a really challenging time.
Speaker 1:It was also like right before I was having my third baby, so it was just like yeah, yes, and I'm really glad we're having this conversation, because the other thing that pops up as you were talking about is how being able to talk about that and be open with others about what we're experiencing can combat that shame piece. You were even even saying it's not weird that I have this separate sponge, or it's not. This is a reasonable amount of anxiety to have about the safety of my child yeah we hold all of that in.
Speaker 1:It just builds within us like, oh, there must be something wrong with us. Or I'm the weird mom, or we're the weird family.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, well, and I think also too, to you know, if you're being met with shame by people, those are not your people, those may not be your people and those may not be the people for you to, you know, to vent to. You know for somebody not in the food allergy community to say like yeah, we use a separate sponge for their dishes, like they probably are, like what is wrong with you? What? Like yeah, that's kind of, oh, you're too you're, you're a little too.
Speaker 2:You know anxious about this stuff, right, and and I've seen that you know thankfully not myself, but I know of a lot of other parents who their own family, you know, isn't supportive of it you know, and, and I, and I'll be honest, some of me, I, I, there's a part of me that's like I don't know that I can fully blame these people that are, you know, bringing some of the shame because, honestly, people just are not educated when it comes to food allergies, like, yes, it's not right what they're doing.
Speaker 2:I, I don't want to be around them if they're going to treat me and my child like that.
Speaker 2:But also like food allergies is just something that's not been addressed in our culture, I think, in a real understandable way to really recognize that like, no, this isn't just like a food preference, this isn't like that funny commercial where, like, their head blows up and is swollen, like this is a life-threatening disease.
Speaker 2:And so if you're finding that the people you are venting to are meeting you with shame or judgment, then those are probably not your people. Maybe they can serve another purpose in life for you. Maybe they're the people that like, yeah, you can get to watch your kids when you need a break, but maybe they're not the people that you vent to about like how hard this, you know, this season of motherhood is. They, you know whether them judging and shaming may not have anything to do with you. It may have to do with their own insecurities or their own struggle, but that, if that is what you, you know verbalizing and identifying as your struggle is not being met with that compassion from these other people, that doesn't mean you should stop sharing. It just means we need to find somebody else who can actually meet you in that state and and can provide that compassion and that support for you.
Speaker 1:Yeah, how did you find your community?
Speaker 2:You know I'll be honest, I think I'm. I think there are parts of me that have found my community and there are parts of me that haven't found that community, my community, and I think, for a couple of different reasons. I think the community that I do have are some of my they're my really good girlfriends that we all went to grad school together. We lived and worked at a really unique part point in time in our life, before any of us were in serious relationships, before any of us had kids. We all lived in New Orleans and I think only two of us are now in the same place, but we all still were on a group text that we, you know, support one another and you know majority of us have kids. We're all social workers, so we all have, you know, just very similar things going on in life. And you know majority of us have kids. We're all social workers, so we all have, you know, just very similar things going on in life. And so it is a place where I can vent without judgment, without shaming, but because we are in, or my husband is in, the military.
Speaker 2:We move every couple of years and so it's been hard to find kind of that on the ground sense of community.
Speaker 2:We had been in Hawaii when I had my first son and then we moved right after that back to New Orleans where I had community, and so we were just starting to kind of build that piece back in. And then COVID happened, and then we moved in the middle of COVID and I had my second baby in the middle of COVID and we moved to Florida, and so we are we're about to move in a couple of weeks to Virginia, and here we just did not have, because of COVID and just because of where we're located, we just didn't get a chance to really build that community here, and so it is a part that has absolutely been lacking for me and where I have found that support has been a lot of times through those girlfriends, but also through different Facebook groups, and, while it's not necessarily like what I would encourage everybody to be like, yes, your whole community should just be like in this you know social media platform Online space.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but it has met a need for me at various times. You know, especially as a mom of a child with neurodivergency, with food allergies, you know the military component that I've been able to have community in different ways or have connection in different ways that have again going back to seasons, have been able to sustain me in certain parts for this season when we move this time. You know my son, he's super social and he didn't really have a lot of playmates outside of school and we have not had much of a community or support system here. And I have said to my husband, you know, even before we knew we were moving, I said, look, this next move, we have to be intentional about finding community not just for our boys but for ourselves as a couple, as individuals. You know, I think just the move here in COVID just really threw that off in being able to, you know, build community. Even with the school right, like the daycare, you weren't able to even go in and meet other.
Speaker 2:Able to, you know, build community even with the school right, like the daycare, you weren't able to even go in and meet other parents until you know, just a year or so ago and or two years ago, and so it's been, that's just been really, really challenging, and so I am, I am hopeful, with this next move that we can, you know, through intentionality, create that community for these various aspects of life you know, to be able to have those people that I can vent to and support, can support me, and that I can be that for them too.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and it does. Sometimes we're lucky and we stumble upon this community, but oftentimes it does take some intentionality to build it up, yeah, yeah, and you know one of the things here.
Speaker 2:you know, I don't think I realized sometimes just how big a part of our life the food allergy piece is, until I have found people that are part of that. You know, unlucky is not the right word necessarily, but unlucky community right. Like nobody like chooses to be in that. And there have been a few community events that have been sponsored, like around Halloween for kids with food allergies, like special trick-or-treating events and being able to connect with other parents. Very briefly, there.
Speaker 2:Unfortunately we don't live near one another to be able to have that community, but it's recognized like oh, wow, again, you see me, I see you. We need connection here and so that is something that you know. Where we're moving, I've already begun trying to look for, like, what is available in the community. There are some support groups, there are some organizations that you know sponsor events for kids and families, and so like that is one aspect that like, yeah, I'm not saying that that's where my main community is going to be, but that is a part of me, a part of our family, that is a big piece, and so being able to have, you know, supports, you know that are there for me. I'm I'm having to have some intentionality in seeking that out, because it's it takes cultivating some of this stuff.
Speaker 1:Again it's not we.
Speaker 2:We would like for it to just kind of fall in our lap, but it doesn't majority of the time, I think, happen.
Speaker 1:Yeah Well, thank you so much, Ashley, for sharing your story and some of the struggles that you experienced, but do you want to talk or touch a little bit on your own?
Speaker 2:podcast.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so my podcast is called Raised to Empower and the the, you know, main audience is for women and mom clinicians, whether they're a therapist, mental health provider and being able to support them in not just, like, you know, the day-to-day pieces of like building a practice, but also recognizing that there are just systems at play that just make it hard to be a, you know, a woman entrepreneur, a mother, a woman in general, and so the show again addresses things from, you know, a kind of practice business building standpoint, but also looking at what are the things that we can do individually or collectively, or what are issues that we, you know, should be aware of, that, you know, can impact us.
Speaker 2:I've done a series on like maternity leave and private practice, because if you are an entrepreneur and work for yourself, you don't get paid leave right. So, like, how do we still journey into motherhood and have, you know, this thing that we desire while also having a business? And so looking at those kinds of issues that are just unique to to women and moms and, and especially, in private practice. So it's on, I think, spotify and Apple podcast that people can can find that show there.
Speaker 1:Great. And where exactly are you licensed in? Because you mentioned, or in your bio it says you're a multi-state licensed.
Speaker 2:Yes, so I am licensed in Louisiana, hawaii, florida and Colorado and I am about to be licensed in Virginia because we're going to be moving there with the Coast Guard. So so, yeah, and I know, like there's the LCSW licensing or licensed clinical social work board. Yeah, like they're about to start. I know several states Louisiana is one of them, just approved, like the compact are seeking therapy because you'll be able to just have more access to other providers and really finding people that, like are what you specifically need to work with. So, yeah, so, multi-state practice, not necessarily by choice, the military force, but it is what it is so yeah.
Speaker 1:Well, thank you. And if people want to get ahold of you or reach out to you, how, what is?
Speaker 2:the best way to do that. Yeah, so you can either contact me through my website, raised to empowercom, or my practice website is just my name, ashleycomogiescom, and you can send me an email through the contact page on there. I'm also on Instagram at raised to empower.
Speaker 1:Awesome. Well, thank you again so much for taking the time to come out and joining us today. Thanks so much, Kayla.