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The Modern Moms Roadmap to Balance Podcast
Is it really possible to find balance as a mom? Each week, I'll be bringing you inspiring chats, interviews, and dialogues all based around helping moms like you unlock their potential and lead the balanced life they want. If you enjoy listening to topics that help you lead a more balanced life, then you've come to the right place. I'm obsessed with helping moms lead the life they want without the guilt.
With the right information and support, you can find balance in motherhood without sacrificing your needs.
The Modern Moms Roadmap to Balance Podcast
Episode 27: Overcoming Bedtime Chaos: Balancing Bedtime Rituals and Sensory Needs with Special Guest Courtney English, OT
Struggling to find that elusive equilibrium between the demands of motherhood and self-care? Courtney English, a pediatric occupational therapist and mom, joins us to share the roadmap she's discovered for harmonizing parental responsibilities with personal well-being. As we traverse the challenges and triumphs of her journey, Courtney opens up about the transformative power of embracing flexibility and the courage to say no. Our discussion is a treasure trove of wisdom for parents seeking solace in the chaos, highlighting the essential nature of self-care not as a luxury, but as a crucial element for maintaining both personal sanity and familial harmony.
When the sun sets and bedtime battles commence, every parent knows the struggle is real. But what if the solution lies in understanding your child's unique sensory needs? This episode isn't just about getting your child to sleep; it's about crafting a tailored bedtime ritual that acknowledges the quirks of their sensory processing. Courtney introduces a free resource she's designed, aimed at smoothing out the nighttime tangles for families, and dives into her specialty—pediatric occupational therapy. Her valuable insights provide a fresh perspective on connecting with our children and customizing routines, making the journey to dreamland less of a nightmare.
Lastly, we shed light on the often-overlooked 'invisible senses' and their role in managing stress and sensory stimuli, an area where Courtney's expertise shines. Her transition from hand therapy to pediatric occupational therapy was not just a career move but a personal transformation sparked by the birth of her daughter. It's a compelling narrative that underscores the profound impact of life's pivotal moments on our professional paths. For those inspired to reach out to Courtney, whether it be for resources, coaching sessions, or just to say hello, we provide all the necessary links in our show notes, ensuring the wisdom imparted in this episode is just the beginning of your journey to balance.
Helpful Links:
IG: @courtneyenglish.ot
Grab all of Courtneys Freebies Here
Calming Kids Guide: A guide to help you understand you and your child's nervous system to achieve optimal regulation.
About the Podcast Host
Kayla Nettleton is a licensed therapist based in TX, business owner, mom of 3 kids and coach for therapists who want support and guidance in their journey in creating an aligned business model so that they can live the freedom based life they've always dreamed of without sacrificing their own needs.
In her private practice as a therapist Kayla specialize in helping women overcome anxiety, perfectionism and people pleasing tendencies so that they can lead a more fulfilled and authentically aligned life
Find Kayla on IG
@kaylanettleton_lcsw
@themodernmomsroadmaptobalance
Email: kayla@kaylanettleton.com
TX Residents can Schedule a Free 20 minute therapy consultation here.
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Hey everybody, welcome back to the Modern Moms Roadmap to Balance podcast. I'm so excited about our guest today who is Courtney. Wow, courtney English. Sorry about that, courtney.
Speaker 2:She is.
Speaker 1:Courtney is a pediatric occupational therapist and mom and she normalizes sensory routines for all kids to help them to self-regulate, and she has a passion for supporting parents. Thank you so much, Courtney, for being here today.
Speaker 2:Thank you for having me. I'm excited to be here.
Speaker 1:So, with the first question that I ask every guest what is your definition of a balanced life?
Speaker 2:Okay, well, that's a really good question because I've been working on it my entire life. But I think I really realized how to understand how to balance my life when I became a mom. Because prioritizing what's important to you, knowing what no longer serves you and your family and your life and what does, and finding that balance, knowing that you can't say yes to everything and that you have to say no, and not feeling guilty about it, that's what really helped me have more of a balanced life, because I tend to be a people pleaser. So then I would say yes to many things even if I really wasn't sure I could do it, and then I would become overwhelmed and dysregulated. So now I I sometimes will just say, oh, like, let me think about it, and then I'll actually really think about it and decide if that's, you know, the best way, the best, maybe task, or you know commitment or whatever for me and my family. So that's how I've kind of achieved a better balanced life.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I think that you know a point you made was you've been kind of trying to balance your life, your entire life, and this is definitely something that's ongoing, because once we find like that perfect balance, something is always going to kind of throw it off, and so I think it's important to remember that this balance is about flexibility Because, as you know, as moms were changing, as parents were changing our children, and you know, in every stage they're changing in different ways and they have different needs or different wants, so our balance is going to be changing.
Speaker 2:Yes, completely. It's going to be changing, and changing can sometimes like change in your life, can sometimes dysregulate the nervous system, because the nervous system likes things that are familiar, routine, predictable. So so realizing that it could be it takes time to adjust, I think too is also helpful.
Speaker 1:Oh, yeah, yeah, that's a really great point. Yes, and you had also mentioned that being able to say no without feeling that guilt was something that you had to get to, and I know that's something that a lot of moms struggle with. So what do you think helped you to be able to say no without feeling that guilt?
Speaker 2:I think it's once I realized that I was kind of stuck in this chronic state of dysregulation where I was like I have to change something, like I had already gone too far into like the depths of dysregulation and I was like I am kind of always on edge, like I'm just always tipping over into this kind of like fight or flight or anxious state, and so that's when I realized I had to start saying no. So hopefully for everyone else you realize it before then, but for me that's what, what helped me realize or made me realize, was that, um, I just I couldn't manage and I was not happy and I was always on edge and worried and stressed out, so so that's how I realized that I had to say no.
Speaker 1:Okay, yeah, yeah. So it sounds like what was helpful for you is knowing that you were taking care of yourself.
Speaker 2:Yes, I had to put myself and my family first, which sometimes can be hard for me. I mean, you know I'm in and by doing that I had to prioritize and put myself first because in order for me to like take care of the you know the family and function, while I have to make sure that I'm not overwhelmed, right, we just say that about moms all the time, right, it's like you feel guilty about taking time to either work or do or do whatever you do for yourself. That makes you kind of to help regulate your nervous system, make you feel calm and organized, and sometimes we feel guilty about doing that. But then, whenever we do step away and give our brain a break, we feel like we can return and we're recharged and we're able to be more present. So I think that's really important to is to realize.
Speaker 2:And it's so hard because every time like my mom takes my daughter overnight, I feel guilty. I'm like, oh, like I feel so guilty that I'm not with her, but I know that it's good for her to be around other people and I know that it's good for me and my husband to have time or just for me to like get work done and stuff. So then, whenever I see her, I'm like really ready to be present with her, which I think is even more important, because when you connect with your children, you're co-regulating with them, you're present and they they feel safe, their nervous system feels safe because you're able to be present with them and connect with them, and that also promotes like a calming sense, right.
Speaker 1:So what I'm also hearing, too, is like, if you do notice that guilt feeling coming up, you're not beating yourself up about it. You're, you know, acknowledging that guilt and you're trying to acknowledge that guilt?
Speaker 1:Yeah, and then be trying to like, help yourself see all of the benefits of doing whatever decision it was that you made that was you know, having this guilt creep up, because I think what oftentimes that we can get stuck on as moms is like wanting this feeling to like never appear, like, oh, there must be something wrong with me because I like I'm just always feeling guilty or I'm always feeling this way, but knowing it's. You know these things are still going to creep up. It's are we allowing them to impact? You know the things are still going to creep up. It's are we allowing them to impact? You know, the rest of our day, or the rest of, like, the time that we have, because feelings are feelings, they're all valid.
Speaker 1:There's no bad thing, or they're not bad and good. Right, they're uncomfortable sometimes. But, when we can show up and be more compassionate with ourselves and with our feelings, it's going to go so much better for us overall than trying to judge ourselves for those.
Speaker 2:Exactly, and sometimes I feel like social media can kind of make you feel guilty, right, because you see a lot of positives all the time and you're like, oh, I'm kind of not feeling so happy right now, right, and so sometimes it can be hard because we, we are so connected so through social media that we sometimes like compare, and then it makes ourselves feel bad. But really, everyone, you know everyone is going through their own things and I think that it's good to highlight the positives so that we can spread positivity, but also know that, like, that's not always the case, right, everyone has their own struggles that they go through, and I think that that helps too. And and just like you know, not feeling guilty if you, everyone's situation is different, right, some moms stay at home, and that's really tasking because you're never off the clock. Some moms go to work, and that's really tasking because you're never off the clock. Some moms go to work, and that's really tasking because you're shifting your attention from mom to work, back to mom, you know.
Speaker 2:So I think that everyone's situation is difficult and so you can't really, you know, compare yourselves, and I think you're right, like that guilt comes up naturally because we're mothers and we care about our family and our kids, and so I think, right, the first step is realizing I do feel guilty and then and then giving yourself reasons as to why you shouldn't feel guilty and realize, and then focusing on what I'm going to get positively out of this. Right, I'm going to be able to recharge and I'm going to be able to get my stuff done so that, when I'm with my kids, I can be more present. At least, that's what it is for me.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah. So can you tell us what exactly is an occupational?
Speaker 2:therapist and what are they helpful for? That's like such a good question. I feel like people all the time are like what occupational therapy do our therapists do? So depends on the setting. So actually before I became a pediatric OT, I was an occupational therapist in hand therapy and I worked in the outpatient orthopedic setting, and so I did. I say hand, yeah, hand therapy. So it was like shoulder, elbow, rest hand, yep. And.
Speaker 2:I would see patients after surgeries or when they had injuries and I would make them splints and fabricate them and I would do their therapy and stretch them. And I was an OT but I was working in outpatient hands so that was completely different to what I'm doing now. But the goal overall is we want to help improve function, so functional participation and everyday activities, so when you fall and break your wrist you can no longer like groom yourself and take care of yourself like you have functional limitations. In pediatrics, children may have sensory processing difficulties, maybe neurodivergent, and so they need support and learning the skills necessary to function on a daily basis, such as following routines you know, you know and and supporting their development.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so it's different across settings, but in pediatrics, really, like we're just focusing on how can we improve this child's function and support their mental health and help them connect with the world and understand how their body processes the world through sensory information and how we can appropriately find a way to self-regulate through that. So, yeah, a lot of OTs. Yeah, sorry, go ahead. Oh, I was just saying a lot of OTs in pediatrics that we work kind of from a bottom up approach, so we always have to take into consideration sensory processing, what a child's sensory profile is, how they process that information. Because how they, how they, you know, process sensory information impacts all the functional things above on top of the pyramid, such as speech and language, motor skills, learning, cognition, all that. So it's super interesting, very nerdy about it.
Speaker 1:No, that's okay, it's awesome, cause I feel like when someone is like super into what they do, they're one of the best people at it because they just want to consume the knowledge all the time and like know all the up-to-date information. Cause's how I feel I am in, uh, with therapy stuff and therapy modality modalities. Um, so I want to talk a little bit how I found you. So you came up on in my Instagram feed and I guess, like just Instagram algorithm pushed you to me and you were doing like regulation stuff before bedtime.
Speaker 1:And so I thought this was awesome because I didn't like this is not something that I had found had been talked about. You were like the first person who was really that I've found and I've seen like really talking about how we can do some stimulation before bedtime, because I think, for me at least, I had always heard you like they are physical bodied kids and so that stuff never worked, and I think that there's a lot of moms out there who are probably frustrated with I'm really trying to get my kids to be calm before bedtime, but all they want to do is rough, play, rough house.
Speaker 2:Yes, yes, I think that that is like common, for I've I mean, based on like all the comments, on all the posts, that a lot, of, a lot of parents are experiencing this and and I do think you know every child's different right and it depends on your day right.
Speaker 2:So I just think, even if I get it out there, that there's another way to do your bedtime routine is beneficial in itself because you don't have to follow the rules of the book of like, oh, it's bedtime, we need to calm down, to move, because maybe we were in school all day and we didn't have any after school activities or we didn't have anything that allowed us to meet that threshold that our sensory system and nervous system needs to meet in order for it to feel calm.
Speaker 2:So a lot of people were commenting like this might rile my kid up more. And some people were like, oh, I tried it and it helped. And some people like I tried it, but then they, I couldn't get them to wind down. So it's like how do we shift you or how do we modify the routine so that it meets your unique, the unique needs of your own child in that moment, based on their day, what they've been going through important, and I actually created like a little mini free handout that I've been having people download if they wanted to, just to give them ideas of like how you can structure it and how you can kind of problem solve through it. So I can talk about that a little bit if you want to hear more about that yeah, absolutely.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:So the first thing is like connecting right. So connection is key. You probably talk to your clients and everything about that all the time is, like you know, especially if kids are at school all day and they're not with their parents, who are like their main co regulators, and they feel disconnected, their nervous system may feel unsafe. So we always want to be playful and connect at the beginning of the routine. And then the second step would be like to decide if your child needs more movement. Do they need to move their body more? Because maybe they didn't get to move their body during the day a lot, or maybe they were out and about and they were overstimulated and maybe movement is not necessary, or maybe it could like cause more them to be a little bit more upregulated, meaning like a little bit more hyper-ish or, you know, a little more energized. And then the next step would be okay, like how can I offer some heavy work, which is, you know, giving the body proprioceptive sense? So like heavy work, pushing, pulling, gripping I do. I love doing a lot of like oral heavy work, like breath work at night, because you're getting that longer exhale, you're stimulating the parasympathetic nervous system, which helps calm your nervous system and it shifts it from like active to more active calm, to more like rest and digest, for like when you sleep and when your body really needs to be in that calm state. And then the last thing is just like the transitioning. So that's the piece.
Speaker 2:That's hard sometimes for parents is how do I like transition them away from this activity? Which is actually hard for me because, to explain, because usually I'm just naturally doing it and I'm like how did I do that? You know, even when I'm working with my kids, the mom, the parents are like how did you transition them away from that? I'm like, let me, let me go back and like think about how I do it, because I just naturally do it, but usually I'm trying to like transition the object with it. So one of the things was like, how do I get my child to stop doing the parachute? You probably saw like the parachute was like the main opener. Everyone was like, oh, the blanket parachute. I have a blanket and I have stuffed animals. I can do that at home.
Speaker 2:And so I told parents, you know, like maybe if you want to transition them away from that, which is more of like a connections stimulating activity, we can maybe put the animals on the blanket and drag and pull heavy work the blanket over to the bed and then maybe we can do some like body squishes in the sand, like body squishes with a pillow to get like that toddler or kid sandwich, and that kind of like transitions them. So you're kind of you're not saying bye to the blanket, but you're using the blanket differently to get you over to the bed, to transition you to a different activity, which OTs we call that like an object based transition. We're not saying bye to the object, we're transitioning with the object so that it doesn't seem like it's all done. And no, I don't want to stop because my body feels good when I'm doing this. So so, yeah, it's really there's so much that you said that, yeah, yeah, that's a really great point that you made, Like I don't want to stop doing this because my body's feeling good doing this yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, because I think we get so attached on like the thing itself, when we're not necessarily thinking of like our kids. This is doing something for our kids. It's helping them in some way, which is why they don't want to stop. It's not that they don't want to stop because they want to get us upset, right.
Speaker 2:Yes, yeah, or they're, or they're like being avoidant of going to bed. It's not that. It's like this feels. So, you're right, this feels so good for my body right now and that's really like the key and the highlight is like in the moment when you think your child is not wanting to do what you want to do, thinking, think about maybe how they're feeling internally, like how that makes them feel like their body feels safe, regulated and good. So how can we transition you to something different that's going to kind of help wind you down, to rest your body for bed. So I've been actually working with a company to do like a, a book on this, like a children's book so it's not, yeah, it's very early stages.
Speaker 2:But I think it's it's good to have like, maybe like the activities kind of guide you in the book that you can be an active participant, and then, like it guides you to the book and when the book's done, like you're, you're already there.
Speaker 1:So you're like oh my gosh, you know that is so awesome. I could even see like multiples of these books. Yeah, like a morning book.
Speaker 2:Yeah. So that's kind of you know in the early stages. I haven't really announced that yet because you know, but it is something regardless that I want to put out there eventually because I think that it would be helpful and a lot of people have been receptive to the information I've been giving about bedtime routines, nervous system, sensory regulation, so I think that it would be beneficial for a lot of parents. So just to like guide you right, sometimes you're in the moment and you're like I don't know where to go from this with this, because I just I'm in the moment and I need those, those phrases. I need those problem solving skills. I need to know like something to guide me. I need like a phrase to like retrieve from my brain to help me, help my child transition.
Speaker 1:So oh, yeah, and then probably it's probably also different for families that have multiple children.
Speaker 2:Oh my goodness. Yes, I got a lot of comments on that, I'm like.
Speaker 2:Oh, I just have one. So you know there are ways you can modify it, you know, but it is hard to manage. More bodies right? More nervous systems in the room Everyone's nervous system, can you know, can change the way that we respond to each other. Just like when you're in the room with someone who may be anxious, you might kind of feel their anxiety. Or someone who's more energetic, you kind of imitate their energy and you become more energetic. And if someone's more sad, you might adjust your energy to their level, because as humans, we are always like adapting and kind of meeting people where they're at.
Speaker 1:So yeah super interesting one, yeah, so can you talk a little bit more about the nervous system piece? Are there differences in a child's nervous system versus an adult's nervous system?
Speaker 2:well, yes, a child's nervous system is more mature it hasn't, you know, matured because they're younger and it's still developing and and even as adults, we still need to be cognitively aware of how our nervous system is functioning. And by doing that we're in tune of what our body is signaling to us and our thoughts and really like taking what, what our body is sending messages to us about and what we're thinking, and kind of figure out how to problem solve to meet ourselves at that just right level of regulation. But as parents, we need to be help guiding our kids through that, because they don't really know what all these feelings, thoughts mean, because their nervous systems are immature and their brains are still developing like crazy every day, right? So I actually have my calming kids guides finally coming out on Thursday, which is tomorrow, and in there I have a lot of like visual problem solving and visual like things that you can kind of see and then take note and use them as phrases to kind of keep in your brain and store in your brain when you're in those moments of like you see your child is dysregulated and you're kind of like okay, I notice your body's telling me this how do you feel? Do you want to do? You want to do this or this, and then how do you feel after?
Speaker 2:It kind of guides you through it. A lot of it is like pointing out like I noticed that your body is whistling a lot. Do you want to move your body right now? Should we take a break from this? You know, and I you're just trying to guide your child verbally through how they can internally check in with their body when maybe they feel hot or maybe they feel nervous, and so really pointing out what their body is doing and seeing if they can connect that. That brain body connection and that's what we work a lot on in OT, as occupational therapists and pediatrics is we're trying to help children understand what their body needs. So connecting the brain and body, that cognitive piece to how the brain, how the body feels.
Speaker 1:Yeah, which is so important because it's not really taught anywhere else. This is something that is a skill that needs to be taught. If not, we end up pushing those things away and not making any connections as to why is my body doing this or feeling like this.
Speaker 2:Yes, and the crazy thing is is that, you know, we learn about the sensory system in school, right Like the five senses, but we don't learn that there are three other senses that are, you know, they call them the invisible senses which is vestibular, which is your motion sense, proprioceptive, which is your body awareness sense, and then interoception, which is your internal how you're feeling internally, like your stomach, and you know your heart rate and stuff. And when we learn that in school, we don't learn really or are aware that those things happen automatically. Imagine if we had like, if our brains had to like, had to respond cognitively to all of those things. Right, Our body is is constantly adapting to, like how we experience the sensory world, and so I think that that's a big thing too. It's like, oh, like I'm trying to evaluate an environment.
Speaker 2:What overwhelmed me? Do? I have a headache because I was in an environment where there was a lot of sound and now I'm a little bit dysregulated from that. I think just being able to tune into like, evaluating what caused your dysregulation and how your nervous and sensory system responded, is so powerful and realizing that that happens automatically. But we can make it more cognitive by connecting and thinking about how things make us feel and how in self, through self reflection. So, which is a lot of like, my practice is like reflecting on how that made me feel and reflecting on like how my body responded yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:So yes, and and I think a good thing to point out here too is our body will react. Our nervous system will react, even if it's within our thoughts. So like if we're thinking something that is making us scared say, I know we're talking about kids, but just money is a thing that came up in my mind, Like that usually gives people you know anxiety or panic is when they're thinking about money and your body's fight or flight response is going to activate, not because you're in physical danger, it's just. It cannot differentiate between you being an actual physical danger for your life versus this thought that you're having.
Speaker 2:Yes, 100%, it's so true. Like and I think that that's where you know, all of that comes into play of like understanding the nervous system. Right, like understanding. Is this a like, is this a false alarm? Like my sympathetic nervous system is activating because I I feel like I'm stressed about money, so I'm trying to take action to help solve this problem so that I'm not there's no threat or there's no issue. So I think that that you're right. Like those thoughts can also trigger. Can trigger, you know, dysregulation too. Know, adults, we have a lot more to manage. I always think about like, oh, when I was a kid and when I was in high school, I was like I just want to be on my own and you know, work and be independent and it's great, yeah, right. But like you look back and you're like, wow, the simple days.
Speaker 2:You know, oh, yeah absolutely no-transcript, so that's been really helpful for me as an adult. Obviously for kids it looks differently, because understanding that concept's more complex. But um, but yeah, that's definitely helped me a lot with that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and your, your triggers is usually seen as something negative, and then the glimmer is more of what?
Speaker 2:what is something like joyful or good that I can bring into my life?
Speaker 1:that makes you feel safe. Yeah, yeah, and that can be something that you either make happen or just it. It happened to happen.
Speaker 2:you noticed it in that day exactly like how was I able to find safety and connection, whether I was doing something that I liked, that I knew felt good to my body, or whether I was connecting with someone who makes me feel safe and makes me feel like I feel that trust with someone. Or you know cause we always seek out other people to kind of help us, reassure us that everything's fine. I feel like you know, especially when we're younger and in like college and stuff, we're like I'm like was calling my mom every day, like mom, I have to talk to you about this because you're like my safe co-regulator who I connect with to make me feel like everything's okay and to reassure me, you know. So it's interesting when you, when you put it that way too.
Speaker 1:Yes yes. So how did you, how did you come to switch from doing the hand therapy to? I mean, that is such a difference. Like hand therapy versus like helping children regulate their nervous system and figure out what is going to help them be able to function in life.
Speaker 2:Yes, that's a great question Because I mean, I always thought that I wanted to do pediatrics in grad school Because when I was in grad school to become an occupational therapist, I worked part time as a nanny with a boy who's neurodivergent and I loved being his nanny and I love learning all the things from all the different, from his like multidisciplinary team, from his doctors, from his therapist, from all the different things that I took him to and learned so much from them and I was, like I'm for sure, doing pediatrics.
Speaker 2:But then during my clinicals I was at Midwest orthopedics at rush, which is an orthopedic group in Chicago, and I was a student there and then I just kind of fell into the position because I really liked learning about the science and I was really into making splints. But when I had my daughter, that was the changing. That was when I realized I can't really handle this hand clinic. It's really intense there's. You know, when I come home I'm just too tired and it was really hard to manage everything with my schedule. I knew I wanted more flexibility and I also wanted to learn more, because I felt like in school I learned stuff about develop child development right, but not in depth, like I didn't end up studying that and specializing that, so I wanted to learn more.
Speaker 2:Because I wanted to, I had, like postpartum anxiety and I was like, oh, I was so worried about her development the more the moment she was born I was like doing tummy time right. Am I doing this Right, you know? Even though I was like doing tummy time right, am I doing this right? You know, even though I was an OT and I knew certain things, I didn't know everything, and that's like something that I do to cope with my anxiety is I need to learn more about it so that I understand it. So, yeah, I switched because I wanted to learn everything that I needed to do to support my child's development and it ended up, you know, helping a lot with my anxiety because it is my, it is my anxiety because I knew that I was, I understood how her development trajectory was going and like what I needed to do to support those stages, as I was like actively learning it, as she was developing. Yes, that was really the main thing.
Speaker 2:And then I ended up just really loving it because then I felt like I was able to connect with parents who I would see their kids and I could connect with. Connect with them because I'm like I know it's like it is right. I don't understand what you're going through, but I understand that this is so stressful because you're concerned about your child's development and you know whether they'll be happy and calm and succeed and whatever in the way that you want, and so I totally understand that. So I felt like I could connect with that group and then when I started sharing on my social media page, it just like the connection just really, it just grew. I feel so connected to all these parents now and it's really wonderful. So, yeah, long story. No, it's good. Yeah, I mean Long story.
Speaker 1:No, it's good. Yeah, I mean one. It's showing that I know both of us are still fairly young, but I think that we try and figure stuff out so fast Like this is how I want my life to be, this is how it's going to be, uh, and we don't like let things happen and fall the way that they're gonna fall. So I know like one person might be hearing this different. I'm not saying like just live life passively, but I think it's more what I'm trying to say is like don't get so caught up in trying to have your life be perfect, because things are going to change. You don't know what. You don't know Right. So you didn't realize for your story, courtney, you didn't realize that you were going to enjoy this side of occupational therapy.
Speaker 1:Like you had an idea and then you really enjoyed your internship and you loved it and you were thriving. And then, all of a sudden, you became a mom and things changed.
Speaker 2:Exactly that transition was hard for me, you know, because I had my familiar schedule and I knew my stuff. I had to switch and relearn a completely different area. But yeah, you're right, it's kind of realizing that you know, things are going to change and life is about adapting in in a functional way. How can I functionally adapt without sending myself in a complete dysregulation? Or, you know, and just and being you're right, being okay with where you're at and and focusing on, like, the things that are good? I think you know that's super important.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, and I'm, and I like that you brought up, brought that up to like how can I transition in a functional way so that you're not right Disregulating your nervous system, because our nervous system likes things that are familiar. It doesn't like when things, because it's not necessarily about safety in terms of physical safety Like it is. That's part of it. But, for our body. Safety means familiarity, whether or not that's actually safe and beneficial for us.
Speaker 2:Exactly.
Speaker 1:Yes, and so you went from one job.
Speaker 2:Oh go ahead, oh, no, go ahead. I was just agree.
Speaker 1:Like, you went from one job that it took up a lot of your time and which was working for you before you were a mom. Now you come into motherhood and we have to adapt to all of those changes. But if you would have stayed in that job, it likely would not have been good for your body or your mental health. Like that's not. Yes, it's familiar, but it probably wouldn't be safe for you in the long run.
Speaker 1:Right, yes, yeah, and so being able to make that change and recognize that this is it. This is so different, but this is going to be a better opportunity for me exactly like my family. Yes, being able to guide your nervous system to be able to make that transition.
Speaker 2:Yes, yes, it was. It was hard, but I knew that it was what was best for me. And, and mainly I knew because I was just in like this panic state constantly, Like I just couldn't. I just felt like I I couldn't catch up, you know, and I just realized that I had to make a change and I knew that change. I know that change is hard for me, Um, but I knew that long-term it would Um, but I knew that long-term it would, it would benefit everyone. So including myself, my family and even just me and my career, you know, and how I can help others and how I can support other families. I'm supporting people in different ways now, but it's definitely more rewarding for me because I am a mother and I have a family, so I feel like I'm relating to people and connecting a little bit more.
Speaker 1:So yeah, so can you talk a little bit more about how you do work one-on-one with the clients you work with? I know I was reading on your stand store that you can access through Instagram that you offer like one-on-one appointments. Can you explain like what exactly those one-on-one appointments are for?
Speaker 2:Yes, so the one-on-ones are really just coaching calls for parents who maybe, like, might see my content and might relate to it, or see that they're like, like they're kind of seeing those same areas that they may be struggling in and if they want to consult with me to maybe either better understand their child's nervous system, their nervous system, their sensory profile and things that might help improve their regulation, because I don't do like a full assessment, I don't you know. I only work with the parents assessment, I don't you know.
Speaker 2:I only work with the parents but I just kind of give them a lot of information on how to understand their unique, their child's unique sensory profile needs.
Speaker 2:And then you know activities that you can do to help and just building routines, building healthy fun, engaging sensory routines in your day, to help with regulation.
Speaker 2:And then if I noticed that there's something that might be something that needs to be addressed by like a OT formally with an evaluation clinic, I, you know, I do recommend that to a big oh, like I do think that you know you should ask your pediatrician about possibly getting an OT evaluation, because I think it actually would be very helpful to you Because seems like more of just this, seems more of something that should be addressed in that matter than just me educating you on understanding these things. I think that all kids and parents, like I think that's just a part of development, I feel like it should there should be like a whole course on it, because I think regulation isn't just for kids who are neurodivergent or for kids, you know, who have other difficulties. I think that every human should learn about their nervous system and how to regulate it, because a lot of us you know, how people say oh, everyone has anxiety.
Speaker 2:Well, everyone needs to learn about their nervous system to know how to regulate themselves, you know. So yeah, I think that's so important yeah, I mean, everyone has anxiety.
Speaker 1:In that it's a survival mechanism exactly exactly. It's not natural to be living in an anxious state continuously.
Speaker 2:Yes, that's that constant state of dysregulation that sometimes I see and I say, okay, well, it seems like you might need to have more support.
Speaker 2:So you should, you know, check that out with some a professional, like in person. But I'm starting to slowly like I have some one-on-one calls still, but I'm starting to slowly like I have some one-on-one calls still, but I'm slowly transitioning, at least this next month, into subscriptions on my Instagram where you can subscribe for like $4.99 a month, and then it's all like group coaching. I'm going over my guide in detail. Like you know, I'll be recording things and explaining things from the guide, because the guide is like 60 something, five pages, so there's a lot of information and, like it's just a way to like have me break it down. I'm also considering doing some webinars, but I do also like to offer the coaching calls, because some people just want that one on one or they just want to like connect with like a professional who might be able to better guide them or show them like what path they should take and give them certain resources, and so that's why I also offer that too.
Speaker 1:That's awesome. Yeah, yeah, and so talk. Can you talk a little bit more about your guide, cause I know you said that it's coming out tomorrow, but by the time our episode is being released, people will be able to access this, so can you talk a little bit more about that?
Speaker 2:So, I made this guide to because when I started posting, the first post that I did was like, does your child dig their feet into you? Did they push their body against you? They may need some more support. They may need more support and their regulation. Everyone started asking me about it and I was like, well, I can't explain it all right here. Right, it's just there's too much, there's too many factors.
Speaker 2:So I started creating a calming kid. I call it calming kids guide. I named it that and really what it does is. It explains the nervous system, understanding the nervous system, understanding how the nervous system is impacted by sensory processing, understanding how those things impact emotional regulation, and it goes through.
Speaker 2:I created like a method of how to guide yourself through understanding your child's sensory profile and then taking that sensory profile and and creating um, it's like an acronym I use.
Speaker 2:It's called NICE. It's like notice, implement, change and engage. So you want to go through those steps and I have like a whole like visual setup for it in there so that you can better understand how to use that acronym and everyday life to either build a sensory routine or to manage your child's regulation or support the regulation. So, instead of letting them get to a dysregulated state, you're more proactive and you're helping them, you know, maintain and balance the regulation before they hit that dysregulated state by like evaluating all the different factors that contribute to it. So it goes through that and then I also have like a bunch of sheets where it explains, you know, each sense and different activities where you can stimulate that sense or ways to modify the environment to better meet the sensory needs in that moment, based on the demands of the environment or the task. And then it goes into like resources for that. And then I offer I put in some like sensory routine outlines. It's got a lot of good stuff in it.
Speaker 2:I could go on and on, but so pretty much what it is is just all these resources for parents to have, or or teachers or anyone, cause I have one with for classroom, I have like three or four pages on classroom, I have one for a bath time, I have one for the restaurant, I have it all in there, and really it's just like to have this resource for me to reference when I feel like I don't know what to do. And it's not expensive. I don't want to, I didn't make it expensive. It's like I think it's $25 or 20. And then there's a promo code. So really I want to make it accessible to everyone because I think that it's so important and honestly, this is the guide I wish I would have had when I switched from hands to OT. So it's even good. It's really good for new OTs, either, whether they're like an OT student transitioning to, like working in clinic or wherever. I think you know, it's just all the information that I wish I would have had just laid out for me when I transition.
Speaker 1:Wow, that's awesome.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:That's super, that's like super, super reasonable, yeah, yeah. Yeah, you said it's like over 65 pages.
Speaker 2:Yes, yes, it is over 65 pages. You know it's so funny Cause I was like I'm going to be done with it. On Saturday I was like at the coffee shop I finished. Then I came home and I proofread it and I was like I need to add this in, I need to add this in, and so it kept getting longer.
Speaker 2:But today I was like, okay, I'm done putting in things because I can always, you know, have other little ones to address things in more detail. But I just wanted to outline in the guide to just start planting the seed and understanding those concepts. Because when I started realizing, you know, and learning about my own nervous system, I was able to help my daughter and her regulation and and I just I became a happier person because I felt I, I felt like I woke up every day and I was my sympathetic nervous system activated and it never shut off. I just was, you know, in sympathetic all day, or just, you know, shut off. I just was, you know, in sympathetic all day, or just, you know, on edge, where I was in between calm and dysregulated. And there was a short window right when I felt like I was safe.
Speaker 2:And I remember asking my husband one morning I was like so do you like wake up and feel anxious, or do you wake up and you feel calm? And he's like I wake up and I feel calm. I'm like, oh my gosh, what would that? I would love to know what that feels like. And so now I feel like I do, because I finally understand what all these cues that my body sends me mean and I and I know I can categorize them cognitively as whether they're threatening or not. And if they do seem threatening, I know my strategies that I need to pull to help me in that moment. And I'm not going to lie. There are moments where just I'm too overwhelmed, right, and we all get there and I think noticing that that happens right is still okay because we're human. So we're going to have those moments where we're just too overwhelmed. We can't control everything.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, and that that goes back to being able to give ourselves some compassion versus judgment for being in that state, because sometimes you can't help it like I am. I'm not going to say no to all the parties that are at this pizza place or jump place, just because I get a little bit overwhelmed like I could you could, but my children love going to the jump place and the pizza place that has an arcade that I am just. My husband takes him into the game area and I see where the pizza is like we, we switch off.
Speaker 1:But those are things like. I'm going to get a little bit dysregulated in those places, but there's nothing wrong with me for that and the same for whoever's listening like there are some things where you kind of can prepare yourself for, like if you're going to a fair or carnival or you know things like that, or Disneyland, right Everyone is always talking about going to Disneyland. Those parks are overwhelming for children and adults for children and adults.
Speaker 2:Yes, and being able to like kind of plan ahead and know that that's going to be overwhelming, I think is therapeutic in itself, right, and instead of being like it's going to be fine, we're going to be fine, like I probably will get just a little overwhelmed and that's okay and that might even help, you know, with your regulation, just by having that thought in your head.
Speaker 1:So, yes, yes, that's so important to realize too and I think it's also like closing this, like really nicely being able to prepare yourself ahead of time, like if you're trying any of these techniques or Courtney's guide that we are just talking about, it's not going to go easy peasy the first time you do it. These are all practices. This is something you need to prepare yourself for. Like it's, there are no quick fixes for anything, and so when we can come prepared for trying new things and just allowing ourselves to learn from whatever it is that we are doing, it'll be so much more, it's going to be so much easier to move through the difficulties and struggles so that we can learn a better way.
Speaker 2:Yes, completely. You said that perfectly, it's so true.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and thank you so much, Courtney, for taking the time to come and talk with us. If someone is I know we've kind of like hinted to it all throughout the show but if someone really wants to work with you or wants to get ahold of you, in touch with you, what is the best way of doing?
Speaker 2:that? Well, you can check. You know I have a stand store that offers multiple things. You can subscribe to my email list where you can download all my freebies, and then it has all of like my digital products on there, all my recommendations.
Speaker 2:There's also a place to book a coaching call and then, if you want to subscribe to my Instagram, that's directly on my Instagram. There's like a little tab for it. But if you feel like you still can't reach me because I'm trying to go through all my messages on Instagram it's taking a long time to get back, you can always email me, and my email is CourtneyEnglishot at gmailcom, and there's a little icon on my stand store that takes you right to an email where you can send me an email, and I check that every day and I don't have as many messages coming through on there, so that's another way to contact me. If you feel like you really need support and I'm not getting your message either through Instagram or whatever, or if I, if you commented and I didn't get a chance to comment back, that would be the best way.
Speaker 1:Yeah, awesome, and we'll link all of that up in the show notes. So if you can't figure out how to get to her sound store, it'll be in the show notes so you can check there. But thank you so much again for being here, thank you.
Speaker 2:Thank you so much. It was so fun to talk to you.
Speaker 1:Thank you.