The Modern Moms Roadmap to Balance Podcast

Episode 19: Embracing Unseen Perspectives: Life with Aphantasia and Travel Hacks with Special Guest Colleen Carswell

• Kayla Nettleton • Episode 19

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Discover the art of balancing the demanding trifecta of work, homeschooling, and travel with our incredible guest, Colleen Carswell, a secular homeschooling mom and business strategist who thrives in these overlapping roles. She brings her vibrant energy and strategies into our conversation, emphasizing activities that fuel her spirit and the philosophy of accomplishing more by doing less, based on the principles from Kate Northrup's 'Do Less.' Colleen also takes us through her own journey of managing work-life balance and provides a treasure trove of insights for parents looking to blend personal and professional growth with raising culturally rich, well-educated children.

Imagine not being able to picture a sunset in your mind or recall the faces of loved ones without a photograph. That's the reality for those living with aphantasia, a fascinating condition we delve into with Colleen. Sharing personal accounts, we tackle the challenges and adaptations that come with this unique cognitive phenomenon, including its impact on memory, dreams, and our engagement with literature. Through our exchange, listeners will gain an understanding of the diverse spectrum of human cognition and perception, fostering a greater appreciation for the variety of mental experiences people navigate daily.

For families with wanderlust, the latter segment of our episode is packed with golden nuggets on how to venture out into the world affordably without compromising on quality experiences. Colleen, drawing from her hospitality industry expertise, busts myths surrounding hotel bookings and shares cost-saving tips that can make a significant difference in your travel budget. Whether it's knowing the best times to book a room or understanding the value of hotel amenities, Colleen's insider knowledge is indispensable for those eager to explore diverse cultures with their children. Connect with her for more invaluable advice that could transform your family's travel experiences.

Helpful Links

Websites:
carswellenterprise.com
smokyblueevents.com

Social Media Handles

Thank you so much for joining me this week on today's episode. Be sure to follow me on IG @therapy.with.kayla

I love hearing about your insights and aha! moments from the show. 

About the Podcast Host
Kayla Nettleton is a licensed TX-based therapist, business owner, mom of 3, and marketing coach for therapists.

In her private practice, Kayla helps women break free from cycles of anxiety, perfectionism, and people-pleasing. Her holistic approach guides clients toward authentic, fulfilling lives by reconnecting with their intuition, setting boundaries, and building confidence.

Kayla also works with couples, especially parents balancing marriage and family. She offers both traditional couples therapy and focused intensives (6 to 18 hours) to help partners address key issues like communication, trust, and intimacy.

Through empathy and effective therapeutic tools, Kayla helps couples reconnect, thrive, and create healthier, more supportive relationships—benefiting the entire family. Her practice transforms self-doubt and disconnection into growth, healing, and lasting change.


Find Kayla on IG: @therapy.with.kayla

Find Kayla on TikTok: therapy.with.kayla

Find Kayla On YouTube: The Modern Mom's Roadmap to Balance Podcast

Email: kayla@kaylanettleton.com

Free Consultation: Schedule a Free 20 minute therapy consultation ...

Speaker 1:

Hello everybody. Today our guest is Colleen Carswell. She is a secular homeschooling mom of four who educates parents on how to travel more affordably and conveniently by hotel so we can collectively raise a more globally conscious future generation. Colleen is no stranger to the juggle bus and finding ways to integrate business, homeschooling, travel and family, even going as far as trading in the traditional nine to five work grind for the more aligned five to nine morning shift. Instead, as a business strategist, colleen integrates systems and processes into both her professional life and ever evolving landscape of motherhood.

Speaker 2:

Welcome, colleen, thank you. Thank you so much for having me.

Speaker 1:

Yes, thanks for joining us. So, as I ask everybody, what is your definition of balance?

Speaker 2:

Yeah. So I think I integrate a lot in my life in terms of like you just shared, in terms of traveling and homeschooling and owning my own businesses, and so for me, sometimes, when that question's asked, I think about, like, the scale where it's like okay, are we balancing work and personal life? And then even how can we quantify that even more in terms of like time and time on both sides where we're really living into that? So I like to more think about it in terms of like the energy and what's really energizing and fueling me versus what's draining and depleting me, and making sure that those are in alignment versus like, because there's gonna be seasons where I'm working more and I'm living more into the mom-for-newer life and there's gonna be seasons where I'm more in the homeschooling realm and we're traveling a lot more. So just making sure, no matter what season I'm in, I'm being energized and fueled by the activities that I'm doing, versus drained.

Speaker 1:

That's awesome, and the crazy thing is is right now, before you even said the energies, I was thinking about how my own definition of balance has been changing recently to reflect more of the energy piece. So when you said it, I was like, oh my gosh, it's like she read my mind. That was literally the thought that had popped into my head, and I don't know if you're familiar with Kate Northrup, but she is an author and she's written a few books, but one of them that I'm currently reading is called Do Less and it's really focused on paying attention to your cycles the cycles of the moon, the cycles of the seasons and really paying attention to your energies in each of those areas and how that well for me, I'm thinking how that is more reflective of balance for me than trying to balance specific areas of life.

Speaker 2:

Right, I love that. So what was the name of that book? Do Less, okay. Yeah, that's very much an alignment, something I would like to read, so I will be getting that after this.

Speaker 1:

Oh, okay, yeah, I was listening to one of your TikTok videos and you were talking about reading and you go well, by reading I mean listening to audiobook. So I've been listening to the audiobook, not actually reading. Yes, exactly, yeah. As a busy mom, it can be difficult to fit in the actual reading. So the and I love reading books, but for me to get that in, I need to be able to listen, cause I can do that while I'm putting the kid to bed or things like that.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, absolutely yeah. I do tend to listen to audiobooks like I share a lot, and then I'd like to have the hard copy, though just to like, especially when it's books that are like informative fiction, self-help. I just like to highlight things, like just listen to it in an audiobook and then go to my book and like highlight, because then I can't have it go back to, cause I need that reminder of what I found like was a key takeaway. And then the only time the funny thing, like the only time I've really read recently, is I was on a frontier flight and I did not realize and I was like, oh, I'm going to get so much done in work because I don't have the kids and I didn't realize I don't have wifi on their planes. So luckily they had a book and it like I got there like a hundred pages with her. I was like, oh, this is what it feels like the only reason I did it was because I literally I had the time and I had no connection to the outside world.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, how funny. I will actually physically read if my husband our family has a ranch that's about 80 miles outside from where our home is, so if we're going there, driving there, the service isn't that great, so that I will usually read during that time. So that's the nice part of having to travel that way, but that's really the only time.

Speaker 2:

The car is a little difficult to read in, just because I get a little sick, but I do love the like audio books. I have found like long trips, like I'm getting ready to go with just me and the kids next week travel down to Florida, which is about a nine hour drive plus all the stops in like 15 hours. But I love like I can drive a really long distance if I have a great book. So I'm actually and I look forward to it, I look forward to being able to listen to books and they can just do the same in the back. You know, it is what it is.

Speaker 1:

Uh-huh, I'm the same way. I'm the same way, especially when kids are usually entertaining themselves in some way. They're not listening to our music, so might as well listen to an audio book.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

So one of the things that we were talking about before we started recording was Affantasia and how we both share this, and so why don't you go ahead and talk about that?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I love this Because, like as you were sharing before as well, like I don't know that I've ever I'm very vocal about it on TikTok as of about a year ago. It's gotten a lot of interest, a lot of people commenting and wanting to talk more about it on the platform, but I don't know that I've ever actually had like a face-to-face conversation about it with anybody. So when you said that, I was like because it's just for something that happens, because it's such a small subset. But basically what Affantasia is, it's the inability to form mental imagery. So, like when you hear people say, imagine yourself on the beach and you're watching a sunrise, for people who have Affantasia, that's not something that we are able to do. It's not. We don't actually visually, mentally, think of a sunset in the same way or sunrise in the same way that other people do, and it's just been.

Speaker 2:

I don't think that I realized I had it until I don't know, probably around 30 or so. It's what I'm thinking. So just about seven years or so that I realized that that was what was going on and until then I just thought these are just figure of speeches, like that's just what people are saying and when and I talk about. When I listen to audiobooks or I read a book, especially fiction, I get to the end of the book and I don't even know what any of the characters look like, because I never formed that mental imagery piece of it, whereas someone like my sister who reads like 150 books a year, it's a very different experience for her than it is for me. So it's just really exciting to be able to have a conversation with somebody who has a similar experience to life, because I think what happens so often not just with Affantasia, but through this journey of sharing that this is part of my story. I've learned so much about the different ways people think, not just like what they're thinking about, but literally the way that their brain function is really fascinating to learn, cause I posted to and I even learned about my husband and myself.

Speaker 2:

He was sharing one day that he could hear in his mind and he's he's said this before and I just like let it go in and out.

Speaker 2:

Right, I didn't make anything of it. And then one day I was just like what do you mean when you say you can hear voices in your mind? He's like you know, I know what my mom's voice sounds like I know what Morgan Freeman's voice sounds like. I can. I literally hear their voices in my head when they're when I'm thinking of them, and that's not at all how my brain works, and that just was so mind blowing to me and so I did a TikTok video on that and I got a lot of feedback. And it's not just that, like some people can hear in their own voice, some people just have thoughts, some people hear in different accents, some people have like entire conversations with the whole room of people going on, like it's just it is fascinating to say the things like to to figure out the way that people's brains are working, that we know we're working so differently in the first place.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, especially because those things are usually often talked about in terms of this is the norm.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

Instead of, and a lot of people don't fall within the norm.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

So when we're only talking about things in the norm, they get, you know, people do get left out and then they either don't say anything or they just mask by. You know, just try and go along as if you know things are working great. I do know what you mean, because that was me when people would talk about. So if you're still kind of confused like, what do you mean by Aventaja? What do you mean by being able to not be able to have a mental image, versus being able to see that mental image? Just if you're, as long as you're not driving, just pause for a minute, close your eyes, do you know?

Speaker 1:

Do a deep breath and exhale and then picture sitting at the beach, do you? What do you see? Do you see anything? Can you see the ocean, the sand? What are you wearing? Now you can open your eyes. Were you able to see an image? How clear was that image? So when someone is unable to form that image or see the image or the picture, they can have what's called apentasia, and for me, the way that I see things is I'm not seeing them, it's more. I feel that the essence that's the only way I can describe it Is I just feel what I might, what I would likely feel if I was at the beach. But I'm not seeing an image, it's a feeling and a knowing, if that makes sense.

Speaker 2:

What is it like for you, colleen? That's exactly it. And it's not even feeling in the real concept of the way people, I think, interpret the word feeling, because I think too, for a lot of people, they can mentally feel things as well as what I've learned. And that's not something. And when we talk about apentasia and this idea of mental imagery, this idea of hearing, it's all in a spectrum. It's not that you're either one or the other, it's you start at apentasia and then you go along the spectrum to, I forget what is on the other end hyper something, but people fall at all different points, which is really fascinating. But yeah, when you say, like I always say, I have a really great intuition because I'm so tapped into that constant state of feeling and knowing in that way, like I don't have the mental imagery piece to kind of lean on or to distract, it's just a straight knowing.

Speaker 2:

So, yeah, and it's even hard when I sometimes try to describe things to people in some of my videos. It's like I don't even know how to describe this because I don't know you think about it so much differently than the way that I think about it. So, even having those conversations in terms of being able to describe. It is really difficult, because you start to realize the words that you use, the way that you think about things, are so different from everybody else and we all are. I think that's just the biggest thing is that you learn that people's perspectives and perceptions of things are so vastly different. When we start having these conversations.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, and that's important to realize, especially as a mom and having multiple people within your household. I mean, like you said, there are still things that you just learned about your husband in terms of him being able to actually hear people's voices. I can't hear, I just have the thoughts. Even in songs, it's just the lyrics, but I could do it in the rhythm, but it's not. I'm not here in the music. Same.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, yeah, and I learned that about my husband. And then I also like we were listening we like to listen to books with the kids, to like children's books, and we were listening to what was it? Like a Percy Jackson book or something Like I like fantasy. But I realized how differently I interpret books than my children do.

Speaker 2:

One of my children might have aphantasia we're still feeling that out but one is definitely very visual and very creative and like his mind is just always going and he was scared for. So it came to this part where it was talking about the minotaur and it was like just this really scary scene and in my mind I'm just like la, la, la, just words, like I'm just just listening to a story. But in his mind he's actually building out this scene and being able to visualize it, which I, like you, just don't realize the different capacities in which our brains work. Until you're, until you're in that and had I not known this, like if this had happened before I even knew aphantasia was a thing I would just be like why is he? Why is he so like it's just a story? But now that I know, like, how differently our brains work, I constantly have to think about you know, is this going to be perceived differently for him or for any other person than it is for me, which is an interesting way to do that now.

Speaker 1:

And it also makes sense for me in terms of how people can like certain books. When books really describe everything, like they're very detailed, that's annoying to me because for me it's just like why are we wasting time here? Wow, it's okay, cool, I'm getting the scenery, but I can't picture that. So that's why it's annoying to me, versus the person who can actually see things as a movie playing in front of them. That's helpful for them, like they can actually see that image.

Speaker 1:

And I had a friend in childhood who loved reading books and we usually liked the same books. But there was a series that I had tried to read, I think what is it called? They're really big books. They have crowns on them. Someone knows what I'm talking about. I just remember like one's a blue one and I think it has a crown and they're in like dual tones the title, but the what's it called? I could never get into it. Yeah, it's a show too, outlander. There you go, oh yeah, yeah, outlander series. And I could never get into it because it was really slow and they were just describing a lot of things, describing the characters, and and I, I, I can't picture.

Speaker 1:

I can't picture that right my memory is not in images, it's in the knowing right. Yeah.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, yeah, I was able to pick up.

Speaker 1:

I Can't see the colors, I just know that they were those colors, if that makes sense.

Speaker 2:

For other people listening might be like what are these people even talking? Yeah, yeah, I'm the same way. When I'm reading, like it's anything descriptive, anything character development, like visually character Development, I'm just like skip, like I just skim it all. I'm like, okay, give me back to this word, because I don't need this. I don't know what's, what's happening with this and a lot of that. You know you could say, well, that's why you don't know what the characters look like, because you skim over it. But it's just, it's been so much a part of my life for so long in terms of like, alright, I guess we're just reading this that I just learned how to do things more efficiently. That better suit like how my mind works.

Speaker 1:

Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, and that's why I am one of the people who I I do enjoy Watching the movie after I don't like before. I do like it after reading the book, because I don't have that picture anyways, so that's helpful.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I talked to people about that a lot, especially my family, and like they're like well, they just didn't do this the way that I thought that it like it's not the same. The person doesn't look the same as I envision, that I think, god, that now I know what they look like. Yeah, I love being able to look to it.

Speaker 1:

Yes, yes. So how has, how has Aventasia impacted your life? If anything? Because I know you mentioned you didn't realize that this was something in terms of what it was the specific name until your 30s. I actually just recently Heard about it within the last year, because it was talked about in a psychology today magazine, but other than that, I Hadn't heard of. I hadn't heard of this. Yeah, but it would be frustrating when I'm doing I could, because a lot of the self-improvement things that I do, a lot of them have Guided meditations and things or just mental imagery things that I can't necessarily do specifically right and I always thought man, why can't I get there, why can't I pick up this mental image?

Speaker 1:

And I was looking at it as there must be something wrong with me because I cannot visualize this. I need to be trying harder, I need to, and that's kind of how it's. I've noticed it impacting me and there are other ways to. But back to you, yeah.

Speaker 2:

And I I resonate with that so much. It's like before even knew it was a thing, and even after, sometimes like maybe I could just trick my brain into knowing how to do this thing that it Hasn't been able to do for 37 years. But it's like I'll just like get close my eyes, squint really hard, oh, my eyes try to like figure out all the ways to make this happen. It just doesn't happen. But with meditation that's one of the things it's like I always tell people I'm really great at clearing my mind. I'm not so great at the visualization piece. So I I don't really recall beforehand, but even now, like when coaches start talking about, like visualize this, and it's like Pardon me, I try not to tap into that part. But a part of me is just like so frustrating. I'm like don't you know? I can't do that part and like if your whole, if the whole exercise and activity relates to like Envision yourself in the future. What are you wearing, how are you walking, what are you doing? Like I don't, I'm not able to do that. Like I could, I could sit there and write it, right it down. That would be an activity I could do, but I can't actually visualize it. So I resonate with that in that way. Another way is I find and this has been kind of hit or miss in terms of when I, when I pull On tiktok is I find that I personally take a lot of pictures because I can't envision my kids faces. I don't know what they look like and I I joke too sometimes and I don't know if it's just me In this way, but like when I leave, when I travel for an extended period of time, even like just a week, and I come back like my kids face, it's still surprised me and I don't like it's just I, because I haven't been able to visually, unless I'm scrolling through my phone looking at pictures, they still surprise me, which is both good and bad. But I take a lot of pictures because I want to remember them at every phase and it kind of helps Back in that space. I was talking to my new bonus sister and she was like you know, for me I can close my eyes and I'm there like I am living that moment, taken away into that time and and for that's not how that works for me. And so having I mean lots of pictures, lots of pictures, like to fully encapsulate an entire like time, just like maybe an hour of time helps me to to really get into that moment again. I'm trying to think of the other ways that it's really impacted. Um, I think those are two of the really the key ways I mean.

Speaker 2:

And the other thing too is because our minds work so differently. I do find and this isn't true of everybody with apatheticia, but I personally find, like I am very Um, that's for my job Like I'm very systematic, I'm very logical, I'm very like there's no, there's no, like it's not that I'm not creative, it's, it's a different type of creativity, but it's just very like, yeah, analytical, like I, that's just how my brain works, it's like a computer in that way. It's I can just keep the noise and just get things done really quickly and in efficient manners. And I don't know if that's relatable, but I have read a few articles where it does say that there might be some correlation. And that's the other thing with apatheticia is there's really not a whole lot of research or studies around it so far.

Speaker 1:

So I'm excited for, like what you had shared, that that was an article that was out, because the more that you talk about it, the more we can learn about it and really be able to understand it even better than what we do, and because the the article that you had talked about, I think, in one of your tiktoks it said only 3 percent of people have apatheticia and it was really low also in that psychology today, and so that's going to be another reason why it's probably not going to be talked about a lot because it affects so few of the population. But that's not to say that there's variances between there's people who can literally see movies playing in their head they can see that versus someone who just can see the picture, like just maybe a still picture. Um, so it it'll, it's going to vary.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, yeah, and I think too, you know parmi always wonders is it that it's only 3 percent, or is it that nobody's really talked about it up until recent years? And If we continue talking about it, will we find that there's actually more people or that this, the spectrum, looks a lot differently than what we actually think that it does? So I'm hopeful that more, more studies will come out about it.

Speaker 1:

Yes, yes. So what has helped me in recognizing that this is just a part of who I am and that there isn't anything wrong with me. I'm just. I just see things different. It's funny, I I don't see it at all, um, but the it. It has helped me, even in those meditations or guided experiences. I don't focus on it as much in terms of I'm not beating myself about up, about the fact that I can't actually see, because there's other things that I can do that maybe other people can't like.

Speaker 1:

I'm really good in the feeling. I can feel things really strongly. I might not be able to see them, but I can feel them really strongly. So if, for example, if, um, my kid is playing on something and it might be looks a little bit dangerous, I might and I can't say it any other way but Play, I can play it in my head as if, if that danger thing happened, I could. I can feel what I would feel If they actually got hurt. I can't see it as in. I saw this and I'm scared. It's just. I get, I even get chills if I'm like, if I'm seeing them playing something dangerous and I get this chill or like visceral reaction as if if it happened. But it's not an image, it's a feeling. Yeah, yeah um so.

Speaker 2:

That's how that is. Yeah, no, I'm the same way. And and another thing that I was thinking about, um, I don't know how to really bridge into this, but it helps me put things into perspective, because we don't know what we don't know. And it's like when I I'm always behind my camera, right, I'm always on my phone, I'm always taking pictures, and a lot of people might look at that and say you really just need to be in the moment, like you really just need to like put your camera down and not take so many pictures, because, like life is happening and I do try to balance that out. But also that's my way to remember my kids and to remember my life in a way that I don't have the capability to do with just my mind and how it works. So I think it's a good reminder in anything in life to understand.

Speaker 2:

I always try to put that lens on of like there might be something here I'm not understanding, there might be something here that I don't know, just trying to take away that judgment of different things that are sometimes just. They just naturally come to us, cause I've heard that all the time, like you just need to be away from your phone, you need not necessarily directed at me, but just in life in general, like out from behind the phone. I love that I have a phone in my hand at all times now that I can take pictures, because I didn't have that growing up. And you know what I don't remember. You know what I can't visualize any of my childhood. So now I can actually go back and I know what happened on my wedding. I know like I can be in the room when I had my babies, like all these different things I wouldn't have been able to do if that technology didn't exist.

Speaker 1:

And as far as, like the childhood memories, I don't have the memories again Like we've been talking about. I don't see it, but I know that they happened. I know we would go to Disneyland, you know, every other summer for so long and visit family in California. I know that I can see pictures. I remember that we went, but I don't have the memories of oh my gosh, it was amazing, and I just know it was fun. I don't, I can't picture Disneyland or the beach trip or anything like that and family gatherings. I know that they happened, but I don't picture them.

Speaker 2:

Right, yeah, yeah, same. Yeah, it's again going back to that knowing. Like you know, I know. In facts, I actually don't remember my childhood, even in the knowing, since, like I don't, the only thing I really know is, like you know, I was one of three girls, my dad was a doctor and we lived in a certain place. You know, like I know those things but there's really no emotional attachment because I don't have those autobiographical memories associated with things and that's also. I mean, that's a whole other rabbit hole to go down, but that's also part, like most people, you know, with Affentagen don't always have that piece, but many do where they don't actually have the memory component, the autobiographical memory component. But, yeah, the things that I do remember or can recall. I don't even like to use the word remember because I don't think it holds the same connotation for me as it does for other people.

Speaker 2:

The things that I recall are very fact based, like it's like I'm moving, but it's like recalling a book like that you read, like 12 years ago, like that's how that part is.

Speaker 1:

Yes, it's all in the thoughts Like I can pull up just that I know it. There's no other way for me to explain it. Like I can recall pieces of information, I can recall what people tell me and that makes so much sense of why I struggle with I like, if not, that I'm really good with faces. I'm horrible with names, but I remember people like I know I know them. Oh, one thing in that article that it mentioned was that people with Aventasia although they don't have they, can't bring up mental images Oftentimes their dreams are very vivid.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, in that wild Are you gonna drink?

Speaker 1:

mine. Mine can be crazy, like very vivid, yes, but I can't do that on my own.

Speaker 2:

So here, right, it is weird. Especially when I'm pregnant, my dreams are like on fire, like they're the wildest of the wild, and that's also like a really big topic of conversation. That's probably one of the most asked questions. When I talk about Aventasia is like but do you dream? And yes, I don't remember my dreams afterwards Like I don't, I wake up. No, like it's not knowing again, like I wake up.

Speaker 2:

Some people with Aventasia are different. They can recall their dreams. I don't typically, but I know that they were very vivid. I know that they were very like elaborate. I know that they were very creative, which is just so straight. I mean, from what I've gathered is two different parts of the brain. It's just your brain works differently in these capacities. But that's what I've asked to people. I'm like so do your is? Like, the way that you envision, the way that you're mentally imagining things, is that similar to a dream? But even that question doesn't work, because maybe we're all dreaming differently, maybe how our dreams are different. So having the conversations is both really enlightening and also somewhat frustrating because we can't really have conversations without knowing the variables of the other person.

Speaker 1:

Yes.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

So I know we could probably spend the rest of our time talking about this, but you are also an expert in helping families be able to travel on a budget and, I guess, just travel more in general right Through hotels.

Speaker 2:

So telling more about that, yeah, so specifically hotels, because that's my background. I was a director of sales for resorts and hotels. I've been in hospital and cruise ships. I've been in hospitality since 2007,. So 16 years. So that's really.

Speaker 2:

What I love is hotels, and I like to take my knowledge of hotels and my knowledge of hotel sales and help families travel more affordably and conveniently. So there's definitely there's a lot of different ways to be able to do that. So I share a lot about that. I educate a lot about that.

Speaker 2:

I help people kind of bust through some myths in terms of like booking early doesn't mean you're gonna save more money. Actually, if you book later, it's not the same for flights, it's not the same thing for the airline industry, but if you book closer to typically, you're gonna save more money. And I go into all these different tips on that. Booking a hotel with a kitchen isn't gonna save you money. I know a lot of people book a hotel with a kitchen and they're like I'm gonna save so much money because I'll be able to cook my food. But what you're not factoring in is the fact that that hotel room costs more than a hotel room that maybe just has a fridge and a microwave, so those costs aren't really apples to apples in that sense. So I help people be able to. I have like menus where I help people be able to just use a fridge and a microwave in the same capacity that they would with the full kitchen so that they can really save money.

Speaker 2:

Because as a family of six I know how expensive it can be to travel, not just the lodging but everything else that's involved with it. And I really do believe strongly that the more that we can expose our children to traveling experiences in different cultures and beliefs, even if it's just domestically, that they're going to have broader perspectives of the world. Because there's these two community is this dichotomy of. On one hand, it can be a great unifier. It feels really good and comfortable and supportive and aligned to find your people, and if you're only ever with your people, you forget that there's a vastness of humanity that exists on the other side of that. And so it's just really making sure that we're able to experience the world in its fullness and finding ways to help parents do that, because it's already so prohibitive with costs, with how the world caters to families traveling. I mean, we've heard it all for many, many months now about the airlines and all these different things in terms of making more difficult for families to travel and for kids to travel, versus. I would love to have, like. My biggest hope would be that, instead of saying, okay, here's some loud grown humans who are saying I don't want kids to travel.

Speaker 2:

What if an airline, like just one airline, catered directly to families, like how much would a mom yeah, that'd be amazing. Love that. And you're not only. I talk a lot about building multi-generational brand fans, because not only are you just serving that one person, you're serving an entire line, like generations of people. If you go on this vacation me as a mom with my kids and I have a stellar time they're gonna have a stellar time. If they have a stellar time, then that's the airline that they're gonna wanna travel, and so on and so forth. Same with hotels. I think if some hotel or some airline agency was like nope, we're gonna switch it up, we're gonna go completely differently and we're gonna focus on serving the families and the best way that we possibly can. Not only is that great for families, but that's also just really smart business. So I'm hopeful that one day we're gonna get there. We're not there yet, but I'm hopeful.

Speaker 1:

I mean, you already see this model at resort type. What is it called? What's coming up for me is like Cancun in Mexico. They have different hotels, different resorts that you can go to that cater to families or cater to couples or cater to singles. They cater and families will go to the ones that their kids are also going to have a great time. That works. That's why there's Nickelodeon and Disney Cruises and all of the specific types of hotels that are based on these characters, because they are bringing in the families and the kids. If airlines did that too, I'm sure a lot of families would also be using those same airlines.

Speaker 2:

Right, it's like even with the airlines, but also with hotels. Like you find them in tourist destination areas.

Speaker 2:

for the most part, I could just tell the country and there'd be like a Marriott. You know how Marriott has different brands underneath it. You have different types of hotels. If they just have one that was family focused and you could find it anywhere. You went same with Hilton. They all had a family focused hotel brand. What a different therapy. I've shown up with my four kids before at a hotel and we have the room that can accommodate six people. But I still feel like that judgment and that I've been on that side of things to know that that is what's coming off the other side of the counter. That's not in my head. I know that there is the stigma for families traveling in the hotel industry. I've been on that side. If we could just have, let's start small, let's just start with one brand in terms of being able to really cater to families wherever they are. Wherever you go, you're going to have this, whatever this residence in, but not a residence in.

Speaker 1:

Yes, yes. What are some of those, the most common myths that you find people spreading around in terms of traveling in hotels?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, one of the common myths is relatable, but really the whole reason I started this was I think it was the pandemic and we decided that we wanted to travel more. The association in my mind was travel more equals RV. That's how you full-time travel. We tried to toy with that idea. We tried to get behind investing all this money into a thing that we didn't even know if we were going to love or not. Then that idea and the fact that just the whole culture behind RVing is so intimidating to me, just that whole concept.

Speaker 2:

I wanted people to know there's a different way and there's actually a more affordable way. Rving is great and it is affordable on its own when you go and you park, but you don't take into fact the cost of the RV, the cost of the maintenance, the cost of the parking when you're not on the road. Hotels are actually a more affordable option if you're not traveling 24-7. We don't do full-time traveling, we just do really frequent traveling. We do probably about a quarter to a third of the year we're on the road, traveling by hotel. That's more affordable to do it that way versus in an RV.

Speaker 2:

The other thing I like to educate people on is sometimes there's this stigma in the hotel industry and with people of booking through an OTA or an online third-party agency Things like price line or Travago you can actually get some really great deals. But you have to understand how the system works in order to have the right expectations when you get there, because you have to treat it as a third party. That it is, it would be just like booking through a vacation agent. What's that Travel agent? Just like booking through a travel agent in the sense that you're working through that person. If you're booking through the third party online third-party travel agent and something goes wrong at the hotel, you have to go through the third party. If I go to hotel and there's an issue with my reservation, I can't take it to the front desk. Typically, I would need to go through the third party. It works really great as long as you know that those are the rules.

Speaker 1:

But I have I was going to know because I've had an experience not for me that something had gone wrong, but I was waiting for to be checked in and someone else was having an episode where they were very upset because the hotel wasn't writing quote unquote, they're wrong when in fact it was actually because they went through an OTA I don't know which one, but those things happen, overbookings happen. If you're going through the OTA like you said, like price line or Expedia, things like that. Those things can happen.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

But it's not the hotels what you're saying. It's not the hotels thing. To manage, right, you have to manage through the OTA.

Speaker 2:

Right, yeah, exactly, yeah. I mean there are some time things like I'll go up if I have an issue. I'll go up to the front desk and I'll just I'll be very clear of like I know I booked through price line. Here's the issue that I'm having is this better handled through the hotel or should I go through price line? And most of the times they'll say go through price line, and then what happens is price line contacts the hotel directly and resolves the issue on the back end, versus me being the one. So it's just having those expectations so you can avoid any frustrations that come along with it, because it does add another layer.

Speaker 2:

But if your goal is to save money, which a lot of families it is, you can get some really great deals.

Speaker 2:

Like I've saved up to 60% on hotels just from booking with price lines mystery deals I think it's called mystery deals or price line. But you have to be, you have to understand how they work, and that's part of the problem. A lot of times when I share with my hotel industry friends like this is what I do and this is what I educate there on they're like why would you ever tell someone to book through an OTA and it's like I don't want them to just book through. I want them to understand it so that the that the relationship between the hotel and the guests because the OTAs exist, like, and the reason that your hotel, that a hotel is on an OTA site, is because the hotel wanted to get that revenue from the OTA site. So it is not the customers, that's not on the owner, so the customer that is, you know, that's the hotel wanting to make money. Yeah, I just try to explain that as best I can because I want to make sure that both sides are really educated so that that relationship can operate better.

Speaker 1:

And when you said that mystery deal, I know I think it's hot wire. They have something similar to where they give you this star hotel.

Speaker 1:

And I almost actually did a booking like that for this week. Our next weekend we're going on a soccer tournament thing. So we had to get a hotel and but the catch for that was I wasn't able to pick the bed count. Yeah, and my husband and I were. No, we didn't pick the bed count. We need two beds, not one king, we need two queens because of our family, and so the $20, $30 a night we would save was worth for us to be able to pick the bed count.

Speaker 2:

Right, yeah, yeah, and sometimes they do allow bed count, sometimes they don't. It just depends on the hotel and the different OTAs. But yeah, just that's how they, that's how they're able to offer those lower prices. But there is, there are ways to work around being able. A lot of times people don't want to book the mystery deals because they're like I don't even know where I'm staying. Like cool, it's a four star, but I don't know anything about this hotel. But there are ways to find out what hotel you're staying at, and I have also the videos on that, I can usually tell which one.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, only because I'm pulling up different tabs of different sites and comparing and location. And it is a process. It takes a little bit more of your time but there are ways. Especially if it's not a heavy hotel area, you can pinpoint.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, actually, my husband or I did it for our. It wasn't our honeymoon. We haven't technically gone on our honeymoon as in honeymoon week long vacation somewhere exotic we went to in Texas. One of the beaches is Port Aransas, so we went there for, I think, two nights and I found this resort stay and it was in the off season, but it was a really good deal and it was through one of those surprise. I was able to narrow it down. I was pretty confident that that was what it was, and it was. It was the same one, because what I found was that was the only hotel in the area that had a conference center, like a big conference center to host, like big conferences, not just a small conference room. So I knew, oh, this must be this hotel and it was, or resort place, and it was.

Speaker 1:

But the funny thing was is when we got there, they had recently had a hurricane within the last few years. At that time, this was 2019. And when we pulled up, we looked at each other and went, oh no, this cannot. It looked horrible but they just hadn't repaired that one outside building that faces when you come in, because they had done all the repairs for the interior of what gets used the most. So it was a little bit of a freak out moment when we were like what did we get ourselves into? But it was, it was awesome yeah.

Speaker 2:

And I'll say one other thing on, because you had asked about the myths I had shared a little bit earlier about how if you book closer to a lot of times you can find deals. A lot of people think that if you book far out like like airlines, like they're starting this certain window that you're supposed to book to get the best deal. But in hotels it works by supply and demand.

Speaker 2:

If they don't have people in their rooms which is their inventory if they don't have people in those rooms and they're going to drop the price because they're going to need more people, so they want to match that supply with demand and so a lot of times during COVID times it worked really great because everybody had a super flexible cancellation policy.

Speaker 2:

It's not as blanketed anymore. But if you find a hotel that has like a little bit of a leeway in terms of their cancellation policy, so let's say you know, cancel seven days before your trip and you get a full refund, whatever it might be. I always tell people if, like, they really want to get the best deal, they can book early but then check again last minute. I say B-com, book early, check again last minute to see if there's a better deal that exists either at that hotel or a different hotel nearby. That way you have that confidence in that, knowing that, yeah, you have a hotel, you've already done that, but you have this plan that you know the cancellation date and when you can cancel by you can check again and see if there's something even more affordable at this time and then book at that time, because I find I mean nine times out of 10, it's a much better deal closer in, just depending.

Speaker 1:

That makes a lot of sense.

Speaker 2:

You're on a political break? Yeah, exactly, there are going to be those times that there's like. I also tell people, you know, check the city calendar. So a citywide event like a marathon, a political event or rally, whatever it might be, that's going to bring in more people during those times, or if there's a large convention. So I always check city calendars just to see.

Speaker 2:

Also, I don't want to go I don't want to go to a location that's in the middle of like a really big citywide event I'm not going to. I'm also just not going to travel during that time. So I want to know that as well. But as long as there's not something really big or it's not the hall, like it's not the holidays that people are traveling a lot for the holidays, typically you're going to get a better deal just waiting.

Speaker 1:

That's really helpful I would have never thought of that and checking the city calendars for marathons and those types of things yeah, wow, that's really helpful. Yeah, good, what about? Are there maybe one or two more common myths that come up that we can depone?

Speaker 2:

Hmm, I think we've covered the like, the big ones, that kitchen ones are really big one, because I hear I do hear that one all the time is that, well, I booked a kitchen so I can save money, but you're not actually. You're not actually saving money If you really put, if you really look at all your costs, if you look at the cost of the groceries, because you're still having to pay for things that you wouldn't necessarily have to pay for at home because you don't have them on the road and you want to make these really good meals still, maybe you need I mean, I don't know ketchup. Maybe you need ketchup. You don't need to use the whole bottle of ketchup, but what are you going to do with the ketchup after, like when you leave? Then you have to pack it up and that's a whole thing. But you have your cost of your groceries. You have the cost of the hotel that you're going to stay at. That's more expensive in the hotel that didn't have the kitchen, because they're going to charge more because they have that specific amenity.

Speaker 2:

I also oh, another one would be to make sure that you're always looking for a hotel. There's a couple of things I look for. One is a hotel with a free breakfast. Especially as a mom with four kids, like that is huge, it's a huge cost saver and it's just a really great way to like start the day. Like I love as a mom that somebody else makes my food, my kids can eat whatever I can eat, whatever.

Speaker 2:

It's not just a cost saving in that regard, it's also just like. This is a wonderful way to start the day together.

Speaker 2:

And always make sure that there's a complimentary breakfast, which a lot of hotels still offer readily. And then I always like to make sure there's a pool too, just because I mean, if we can, just just because that's a great free recreation activity If I'm just, as we're traveling a lot, so just to make sure there's something for us to do should it be a bad weather, like an indoor pool bad weather, or we're just like not feeling it that day. There's, that's a free option, and what else is it?

Speaker 1:

I would say, in terms of the free breakfast, make sure that it is complimentary, that it is a free breakfast, because we stayed at a hotel and our breakfast was free, but my mom and my grandparents stayed at a different hotel and they were surprised that their breakfast wasn't free. They had to pay like $12. I think it was, and it was very similar to our breakfast, because it wasn't anything Extra or anything better than what we had. They just had to pay for it.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, yeah, there's definitely some hotel change that that charge you for for breakfast or don't provide it at all, or you have your the restaurant on site that they want you to go frequent. So that's. But if you, if you look at the cost of that and also you can, I mean I'm not saying this but you can maybe snag a few snacks for the day, you know.

Speaker 2:

I didn't say it but, like I know, the kids love an extra milk, right, so so we'll take a little extra milk up to the room. But if you look at the cost savings of that, of not having to pay for that one meal and or just like making that, you're really big Meal of the day, like you can, really you could save a lot of money just by having a hotel with a free breakfast, and they're not normally the the more expensive hotels, which is ironic. The hotels are the ones you have to pay more money for breakfast. Yes, they were the ones you get free breakfast.

Speaker 1:

So, yes, we actually went to this resort hotel. My dad was able to get a deal because he knew the security guard that worked with the security company me that they got discounts, so they were able to. He did my dad's favor by allowing him to use that discount, and we had never been to this resort place I think it was a Marriott or a Marriott Hill Country Resort or something in San Antonio but everything, most of everything, you had to pay extra for and we didn't know this. I mean, we knew, but when we got there, people were prepared. They had ice chests full of stuff and food and because you knew, you could tell, because they had multiple ice chests, so it wasn't just the one that they traveled with. We always traveled with an ice chest.

Speaker 1:

So they, they were prepared, they did this intentionally and when we saw that, we were like, wow, this is how people do this most of the time. If they're, if they're wanting to save money or they're traveling on a budget, this is how you do it. And so we haven't. Why we haven't been back as a family. I've been back with friends. But we kept that as a tip for next time if we do this again, because those places are Fun in that they usually have Things to do that are included, like lazy rivers and like a little beach and things. So it's fun for the kids and you don't have to go everywhere, right. So that was a nice experience, but it was a learning experience as well.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, yeah, because you do have to pay for For those, for those more expensive, or hotels. You do have to pay for pretty much everything. And the other thing to make sure you're looking for are those resort fees, which hopefully you know there's been some talk about, about removing certain junk fees, as what they're calling them, but I don't know how, how that's gonna go or how fast that's gonna go, so resort fees would fall into that. But it is really frustrating when you get somewhere and you didn't expect that, you're gonna have to pay a 30 to 40, especially like I just went to Vegas for a conference and and I know to look for those things it's like, oh, this, this room is so cheap, but also there's a $40 a night, yes, or feet that you have to pay because we're gonna give you free internet, which just it doesn't make sense. It's just a way for their front, their front pack price, to look more affordable and then they're gonna get you when you've already booked, you've already confirmed, and then they get those fees. So I've never agreed with resort fees, even when we're working in the industry, but it is what it is right now. So just make sure you're not at that.

Speaker 2:

And the last thing that I'll say to look at is parking, because we went to Chicago. It was, and it was like I was used to cities like we're in North Carolina, so like Asheville, charlotte, atlanta, they don't have super expensive parking. I mean, you're talking like maybe 20 to $30 versus when we were looking at Chicago and it was like $70 to $90 a night for parking, which is just wow, rageous, and so you have to really, you know, not really assume that what you know about a certain thing is how it is everywhere and always just looking for those extra because it's lots Times. You could see Chicago me like, okay, I know, I have to pay for parking. You could automatically assume, all right, that's 20 bucks a night, if you don't actually look into and say, oh, seven, seven, that doesn't make any sense for me to stay in this area. I need to look. Yes, so that would be another big one.

Speaker 1:

Yes, well, thank you so much, colleen, for all your wealth of knowledge in this travel. If someone wanted to Work with you or be in contact with you, as in getting more tips and things like that, what is the best way for them to reach you?

Speaker 2:

or find you so probably on social media channels. On Instagram I have two. We didn't get talked too much about my other business, so the one that we talked about today is would be the car's well family on Instagram and then on tiktok. If you want to have travel tips and or learn more about aphantasia, that one is just calling cars well on tiktok and then our, our company website, which encompasses all the businesses that we own, is Carswell enterprise calm.

Speaker 1:

Awesome. Well, thank you so much and I hope you have a great rest of your day. Thank you you as well.